Howtomakeadollar wants to celebrate Memorial Day today with all of our readers. So in honor of this holiday, we are publishing a blog about weather forecasting.
One of the bragging points at the college I attended was that one quarter of all weather forecasters in the U.S. had graduated from my school. This stat, if true, is pretty impressive on its face. However, if you think about it, you will come to realize that weather forecasting is not exactly a difficult job, and takes only about an hour a day to do, so you probably don't need to go around town rodomontading about it too much, and it doesn't work too well as a pick-up line either. The interesting thing about weather forecasters is that I'm pretty sure they make like $5 million per year. I'm not going to bother verifying any of this info, but you can take my word for it.
OK, I'll take your word for it because this seems like an informative and reliable website. How can I learn to predict the weather and make millions?
Easy. Investigative journalists at Howtomakeadollar have spent years infiltrating the best meteorology programs in the world, and have provided a collection of phrases that you can use in order to sound like an expert weather forecaster and bring in millions.
"Partly cloudy:" This is a phrase you can use if you don't really have any idea what is going on with the weather. It means that there will be some clouds in the sky sometimes, and sometimes not. You can safely predict this every day of the year, and you should only use the other phrases below if you feel like you are getting in a rut.
"Chance of rain:" This is a phrase you can use if you think it might rain, or might not. You can say it every few days just to keep things interesting.
"Scattered showers:" You can use the phrase in place of "Chance of rain" whenever you want. It means that you think it might rain, but you don't know when or where.
"Hot:" Use this in the summer time, or whenever global warming starts*
"Cold:" Use in winter
"Really Hot:" Use in Mexico
*I thought for sure global warming had started last Wednesday, but then it got cool again, so no go. Check this site often for up-to-the-minute updates on when global warming starts.
Current forecast: [one minute ago] Chance of Global Warming
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY LOUISE!!!!!! How To Make A Dollar loves you so much that we have dedicated this blog to you for the entire day in celebration of the best day of the year.... YOUR BIRTHDAY!
Louise today is your special day
so we have something to say
you are our greatest fan
except maybe for that random guy named stan
Your support of our blog means a bunch
someday we will have to take you out for lunch
We hope you have a wonderful day
on your birthday, the second from last day of May
Your family loves you a lot,
more than Han Solo loves his robot
Your children turned out sweet
because your love just can't be beat
Special people call you Mom and Nonni
expect for that random guy who still calls you Bonnie
Everyone knows you are a great friend
And at last this poem has come to an end
Happy Birthday Loiuse!!!!! We hope you have the greatest birthday ever. Your faithful facebook comments have filled our lives with fun!
Also featured on Todayisjustforyou!
If you would like to show your love for someone... found out how by checking out our SHOW YOUR LOVE feature.
Saturday, May 29, 2010
A few years ago I was at one of those big multi-day outdoor concert festivals that you occasionally hear about and some guy there was selling fried Three Musketeers candy bars for like $5 each. He had a bunch of long sticks and he would prong a candy bar like a hotdog and then dip it in the batter. Then he would put it into a big pot of super hot oil and fry it. The chocolate would get all oozy and delicious and the batter would soak it up into one big long delicious fried chocolate stick. I got like four or five of them that day for breakfast and I don't think I've ever had anything else that was nearly as good. It was like angel droppings from heaven.
The next day the same guy was frying oreo cookies in batter. I don't want to say for certain whether the fried oreos were better than the fried three musketeers, or vice versa, because they were both outrageously good. On one hand the three musketeers bar was big enough that a few of them could fill you up, but on the other hand, the oreos were small enough that you could stuff like five or six in your mouth at a time, so its a really tough call here.
I forget how he was making the oreos because I know you can't put an oreo on a stick, and I know he wasn't reaching in the hot oil with his hands to get them out. I guess this is just one of the mysteries that may never be solved.
Bottom line is that this guy was onto something extremely profitable and extremely easy. All you need to do is get a bunch of sugary, chocolate-based fat, dip it in batter, and then dip it in more fat.
Friday, May 28, 2010
**A nutdriver is a tool that looks similar to a screwdriver, only it is used for tightening nuts instead of screws. However, in this instance I am using the word figuratively to describe a person who is nuts. Get it? Nutdriver -- nuts!? Ha!
Thursday, May 27, 2010
We all know professional athletes are not that smart. When it comes to money they are definitely not smart. According to this article 78% of all NFL players are bankrupt after 2 years of retirement.
Step by Step plan to make money off of not so financially smart atheletes
1) Find above mentioned athlete.
We have done the work for you and found one... Eddy Curry
2) Loan them $575,000 with an 85% interest rate
3) Collect interest
Check out our other ways to make money off of basketball.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
One way that lots of people frequently try to make money is to gamble at casinos. This moneymaking strategy is a very old one, and people have been gambling for centuries on various things. I think the first casino opened in ancient Assyria in like 600 BC. Soldiers would surround a large walled city, cut off the food supply for a few years, and then make bets with each other about how much a pound of wheat was selling for inside the city. Winners got to kill all their fellow soldiers and lead a military assault against everyone, losers got leprosy. In all seriousness, something remotely, vaguely, not entirely dissimilar to this actually did happen.
Anyway, modern gambling is much more civilized, so you don't have to worry about mass starvation, leprosy, or invading Assyrians. Of course, the odds at the casino are stacked against you. Roughly 80% of your bets will lose, but all that means is that if 5 of our loyal readers go to the nearest casino and start dropping money into the slot machines, that one of you will make money instantly. At that point you just have to go home with your winnings. If you stick around any longer you will lose it all.
So the way to make money at the casino is to
1. invite four friends to a casino*
2. put money in the slot machine
3. win free money!!!!
4. leave immediately.
*I am assuming that if you invite four friends to go with you, you will automatically by the lucky winner out of the five of you. There is no reason to assume this is true, but I'm saying it is true anyway.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
How To Make A Dollar is happy to bring you an exclusive offer just for our readers... click on the link below to reserve your very own Chickfila Spicy Chicken Sandwich between May 31 to June 5, 2010!
This is potentially the greatest thing to ever happen in the entire world. When you pick up your sandwich, don't forget to tell them you found out about this exclusive offer from howtomakeadollar!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Everyone knows about the housing bubble that burst sometime in 2008 and caused the major worldwide financial crisis that is more or less still ongoing. Most people still remember the dotcom bubble that built up during the late 1990s and then burst in 2000. Bubbles occur frequently in most economic systems, and cause significant economic growth for a few years before causing significant economic havoc for a few years. Kind of like teenagers. Because of the crash that always occurs after a bubble bursts, most people have come to regard bubbles as bad.
And bubbles are bad. But they don't have to be bad for everyone. The trick is to get in at the beginning of the bubble and then get out before it breaks. Most people understand this, but very few are very good at predicting where and when a bubble will occur. This is because most people try to ride the markets rather than trying to influence the markets.
But what if I'm not good with computers and automated trading?
You're in luck. Howtomakeadollar has a good solution for people like you.
1. Buy a major stock exchange such as NASDAQ or NYSE outright
A. This may require a lot of up front cash, possibly as much as $100.00
B. You may be able to get a used stock exchange off Craigslist for less, but you will have to shop
2. If you don't have enough up front cash to buy a stock exchange, you can start your own.
A. The best way to create a stock exchange is to get a string of letters together that end in "EX" which is short for "exchange." Lets say you choose "FARTEX"
B. Once you have chosen the name of your exchange you will need to do a bunch of other stuff that involves trading stocks and options and mutual funds. I don't know how to do any of this, but I think there are a bunch of unemployed finance people in New York who may be able to help you out.
3. Good. Now you have your own stock exchange. (This is not a real step per se, its just a good stopping point to look back on what you've accomplished so far. You are doing great)
4. Now you need to cause lots of people to buy certain kinds of stocks. Lets say you want to create a bubble in the mulch and wood chips industry.
5. Everytime someone buys or sells a mulch stock on FARTEX, you need to rig it so that the order goes through as a "buy," even if the client ordered a sell. The best way to do this is to create an automated trading system and then add a glitch. From my own personal experience in designing software I can tell you that I am one of the best people in the world at making glitches. If you need a good software glitch, my services are available. This will cause demand to go really high really fast, creating a mulch bubble.
6. Once the price gets to a certain ridiculously inflated amount, you should sell all of your mulch stocks. "What mulch stocks?" you ask. Well, to be honest, I forgot to add a step in which I told you to buy a bunch of mulch stocks for cheap. You will lose big if you forget this step. Maybe I should have mentioned this in step 3 instead of wasting it, or maybe there needs to be a new number between 3 and 4. Someone at the Federal Dept. of Numbers should be working on this.
7. Make sure your sell order goes through as an actual sell, not a buy. You will have to fix the glitch to do this.
8. Now you are rich, so you should be able to afford to buy a bunch of online poems for your family, friends, and spouses. I know a good place that sells these.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Howtomakeadollar is all about making money. But we are also all about saving money. One great way to save money is to blog about a business idea instead of actually doing it. Howtomakeadollar has lots and lots of ideas. Some of our ideas are great, and some of them are really great! But we will admit that some of them are just not always very practical. Some of our more impractical ideas are making your own island out of trash or starting your own fat kid camp.
One great way to save money is to blog about an idea instead of actually doing it. Don't even try it... just write about it. Plain and simple.
Money saved by howtomakeadollar by blogging about an idea instead of actually doing it: $57,943,100.09 (number audited by our official accountant).
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Your birthday celebration is also being featured on www.todayisjustforyou.com
You're a really good mommy and a top-notch cook
There's no one else at whom I'd rather look
When I count my earthly blessings I think of you first
When I think of life without you, it would be the worst
I appreciate your humor and your sense of style
I've never gotten over your pretty smile
When I think about you my heart goes aflutter
because I love you more than Reeses peanut butter
When hard times come, you never act dumb
You're my voice of reason
You're more exciting than baseball season
You make everything prettier and you have a nice touch
Which is just one more reason why I love you so much
You're good at everything -- even origami
And not only that, but you're the world's best mommy
I love you Jennifer
Friday, May 21, 2010
The debt collection industry is booming. People borrow money, don't pay it back and someone needs to collect it. This is a great opportunity for you to make money.
Has anyone ever borrowed money from you? Did they pay you back?
I'm sure there is at least one time in your life that someone has borrowed money from you and forgot to pay you back. Did you let your friend borrow $1 to buy a soda in the 5th grade? This would be a perfect opportunity for you to collect the debt.
Step by step plan to make money by collecting debt
Step 1: Set up a paypal account. This is an easy way to collect money online.
Step 2: Email your friend from 5th grade. Attach an invoice for $1,375.89 and tell them this is the amount they owe you. This includes the $1 they owe you plus interest for the past 18 years.
Step 3: When they say you are crazy and they don't owe you anything, keep calling them and emailing them until they can't stand it anymore.
Step 4: After months of annoying calls and emails send your friend a new invoice for $1. By this time they will be so happy to pay you anything to stop your annoying calls and emails and will settle for $1.
Step 5: Collect your $1 and move on to your next friend.
Note: this may cause you to loose friends... but it will definitely be worth the $1!
Thursday, May 20, 2010
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEUN!!!!!!!!!
Congratulations Seun... you are loved! Your husband Olugbenga loves you so much he has dedicated this website to you for the entire day in honor of your birth. We have written a love poem for you to enjoy!
Seun, today is your birthday
and we have some things to say
You are great at everything you do
the things you cannot do are few
You are a fabulous cook
and at you it is very nice to look
You are so sweet and kind
Olugbenga is so glad he can say "you are mine"
You are great at dealing drugs
but only the good kind... not to thugs
On your birthday Olugbenga will give you lots of hugs
and hopefully not some cheesy mug
You are a great wife and friend
Olugbenga will stay with you till the very end
He appreciates you driving him around
and he is glad you are the one he has found
Enjoy your birthday on this fabulous day
we have nothing more to say
HAPPY BIRTHDAY SEUN!!!!!!!!
This blog has been brought to you by our SHOW YOUR LOVE feature.
It is also available on www.todayisjustforyou.com
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Last week the company where I work started a health program partnership with a health insurance provider that gives monetary incentives for employees who exercise. This program is based on the premise that total health costs will be lower if employees are incentivized to exercise more.
The program is basically a computer program and a pedometer. The pedometer keeps track of every step you take during the day, and then it uploads onto the computer, where all your health activities are added up. You get paid small amounts of money for each milestone you hit. Its pretty simple. A pedometer, for those who don't know, is a little electronic gadget that straps to your hip and counts every step you take. I'm not sure how it works* but it seems to be pretty reliable.
*probably by magic
The most you can earn in a year is $500, which, if you ask me, is a worthwhile amount of money, but not enough to go crazy about.** Also, in order to get the full $500, you pretty much have to go 11+ miles per day, every day of the week, which is a lot. However, I have an idea for making more than that.
If you are involved in a similar program, I will wear your pedometer for you, and I will go for a long jog every day. At the end of the year you can pay me half of your winnings and keep the other half. We both win, and you don't have to do any exercise. In fact, you can just eat Crisco all day if thats what you want to do. I think Crisco mixed with confectionery sugar is one of the best things in the world, so I won't judge you.
**Where is the point at which you should go crazy? $500 per year is probably not enough right? But what about $501? $502? At some point you have to go crazy right? I bet there is a certain dollar amount at which any given person will go crazy. This would explain a lot of things about my friends. Howtomakeadollar pledges to keep you posted on the exact dollar amount at which we go crazy. Personally, I estimate my threshold to be north of $100,000, but less than $500,000. Somewhere in that range seems about right. Check this site often for updates.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Often companies will give away free samples to get you hooked. How To Make A Dollar has come across a great way to get free samples from companies that do not give free samples. Step by step plan on getting free samples from companies that do not give free samples!
Step 1: Start website or blog
Howtomakeadollar has so much free time we have decided to start another website. Our Show Your Love feature has been so wildly successful we have spun it off with http://www.todayisjustforyou.com/
Step 2: Promote something you want a free sample of
Howtomakeadollar loves sugar and fat and chocolate. So we decided to promote BROWNIES.
We have promoted brownies on our new website here.
Step 4: Email the person you are promoting and let them know you are promoting them.
Howtomakeadollar has emailed brownies.com to let them know we want their brownies:
"Just wanted to let you know you have been featured on our website... http://www.todayisjustforyou.com/ If you would like to send us some free samples we would love to give a positive personal review of them! Thanks!"
Step 5: Wait for FREE SAMPLES!
Monday, May 17, 2010
It's official... people in America are FAT. Especially kids. And the only people we should blame are the evil, horrible, capitalistic, giant corporations who are bringing us down. Since the writers of How To Make A Dollar are sponsored by McDonalds, we are not able to specifically talk bad about the wonderful goodness that McDonalds embodies. But since we are not sponsored by Burger King... we can talk bad about them. Burger King is the reason American kids are FAT. (we also do not like the scary Burger King guy)
Step 1: find really big building for little to no money.
How To Make A Dollar likes to work out the details of our business plans to help our readers out. So, we have located such a building for you.
This building is located in Bramwell, WV. It is an old high school that is for sale. The building is 80,000 sq. ft. That sure can fit a lot of Fat Kids. It is for sale for only $495,000. That is a ridiculous ~$6 per sq. ft. Amazing. You can see the full listing here.
Step 2: Get money from the government. This seems to be the cool thing to do these days. Since Michelle Obama is fighting fat kids I'm sure it is easy to secure a government grant.
Step 3: Ship a lot of over weight kids to your 80,000 sq. ft. compound for a month during the summer. Have their parents pay you a ton of money!
Step 4: Give the kids a proper amount of food and exercise. They will lose weight. But make sure it is not too much weight... you want them to come back every summer.
Step 5: Franchise an ice cream store across the street and be open from 2:00am to 5:00am every night. Make sure you conveniently unlock the doors to the 80,000 sq. ft. compound at this time.
Step 6: Only work a couple of months out of the year. The rest of the year you can hang out in your compound and do whatever you want.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Howtomakeadollar has already written about how to make money by selling stuff that you can get for free. Today we are doing it again.
You've probably heard about the oil rig accident in the Gulf of Mexico* that is gushing gazillions of gallons of oil every gazillionth of a second. This is a golden opportunity for anyone with an idea, but most people seem to be taking it as bad news.
Well, lots of people are wrong. Lots of people thought it was bad news when the first car ran over the first horse-drawn carriage, but nobody stopped making cars did they? In any case, that particular horse had it coming. Everybody thought it was bad news when the German blitzkrieg defeated the Polish cavalry. And it was bad news. It was a disaster. But my point is that nobody tried to use a cavalry against tanks after that. I have waited a long time to use the old Polish cavalry analogy. I don't think it is particularly relevant to the subject at hand, but its my blog, not yours.
The way I see it, there is a colossal amount of oil sitting around waiting for someone to get it. In fact, the government and the environment people are begging someone to get rid of it, to the point that I'm sure you could get paid to do it.
Now think about this. The rig was about 41 miles out at sea. The drill was under a mile of water, and it cut a hole about 3.5 miles deep into the ground. A 4.5 mile pipe with numerous safety valves connected the bottom of the well with the rig above the water. The fact that such a rig ever existed is an engineering marvel. The technology required to go down a mile under saltwater, to drill a 3.5 mile hole into bedrock, to pump out that much oil, and keep it all contained for even a minute, is simply beyond my ability to grasp. Sure, this one failed, but there are countless others that have not failed, and the fact that any of them ever existed in the first place is simply astonishing.
My point is that this oil used to be impossible for the average person to get. Now it isn't. This is a golden opportunity for anyone with an idea. This is where you come in.
1. Get a boat
2. Get a bunch of old paint buckets, ice cream buckets, or beer bottles. If your beer bottles are full, it will help to drink them quick.
3. Paddle out into the open sea
4. Keep your eyes peeled for a big black pool of oil. You will probably know it when you see it. Its the one that is 10,000 square miles and advancing.**
5. Dip your containers in it until they are all full
6. Paddle back and put them in your garage
7. Repeat steps 1-6 until your garage is full, or the oil slick is gone
8. Sell oil to someone who knows how to refine it.
In all seriousness, somebody is going to make at least 10 billion dollars cleaning this thing up and disposing of all the waste. If you have any ideas about how to do it, it would be worth your while to get down there and try. I think my bucket idea could actually work if done on a large scale, with big buckets and large boats, but I'm sure there are other ideas.
*How did Mexico get the naming rights to this body of water? The Mexican economy is in pretty bad shape right now. They should sell all naming rights to the highest bidder. I think "Gulf of Wal-Mart" has a nice ring to it, and I would also support "Gulf of Google" because of the alliteration factor. A good corporate bidding war could be just what Mexico needs right now.
** no kidding. 10,000 square miles of oil sitting around for free (and growing). Thats the current estimate.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Several times a year, we like to offer How To Make A Dollar readers very important and exclusive information about great money making opportunities. Several months ago we shared with you how to make money by helping the Nigerian Royal Family transfer funds to the U.S. We recently came across a new opportunity. This opportunity is how to get a great deal on a cheap vehicle through Craigslist.
On craigslist there is a section where people can buy and sell cars. Occasionally there are GREAT DEALS!
This truck was on Craigslist for $4,600
Even if you are not an expert on cars, trucks, anything with wheels on it... $4,600 for this truck is obviously a GREAT DEAL!
Here is a step by step plan on how to secure this GREAT DEAL!
Step 1: email the person about the truck and make sure it is for real
Subject: F250 truck
Date: Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:22:55 -0400
Subject: RE: F250 truck
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2010 10:24:39 +0000
2005 Ford F250 - 141,000 Miles
First of all I want to thank you for your interest for my car. I sell it at this price ($ 4600 ) because i just finished the divorce with my husband.The divorce has finished 6 months ago and the car is mine now.After the divorce I was forced to buy a new house. Following the financial crisis I can not afford to pay the bank and I decided to sell the car.This car is in excellent working conditions, no scratches, flaws or any kind of damage, slightly used in 100% working and looking conditions and comes with a clear title.
From the beginning you have to know that for the payment I request only secure pay, I prefer the payment to be done using eBay services.
We will use a safe payment method because I am affiliated at eBay and I have a purchase protection account.The final price that I want for this car is $4600.I will pay for shipping and handling.
If you are interested in buying it please provide me your full name and address so I can initiate the deal through eBay.
I will wait your answer(if you are interested to buy) very soon.
P.S. - HERE ARE SOME PICS OF THE CAR - http://s843.photobucket.com/albums/zz354/SharonFennell/
If the link is not working please copy and paste the link into a new window.
Step 3: Become suspicious when you see the exact same listing (same pictures, same description) listed in another part of the country. Email the person back and ask them if it is a scam. They will tell you if it is. If they don't tell you it is a scam, you can assume it is not a scam.
|Sent:||Mon 4/19/10 12:02 AM|
Friday, May 14, 2010
For the past few days Howtomakeadollar has highlighted ways that ordinary people can become professional athletes on team sports. We mentioned that with team sports you can simply perfect a single niche skill that your team requires. In one of these blogs we mentioned that golf, being an individual sport, does not allow ordinary people to go pro.
Golf is dumb.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
We've been running a series of blogs about making money by playing a niche position in professional team sports. So far we've covered Baseball, Basketball, and Football. Each of these sports has jobs that an average person can perform simply by practicing ordinary skills that they already have. All you have to do is polish your natural skills. All healthy people are able to run, throw and kick. You just need to practice the skills you already have.
Hockey is significantly harder. No one is born knowing how to skate on ice. This is a skill that you not only have to practice, but you also have to learn it from scratch. If you do know how to skate, then you will also need to weigh about 300 pounds, you will need to be very fast, and extremely angry. Basically, if you know how to skate you still have absolutely no chance of going pro at hockey unless you are also a bear. With that being said, you would think that hockey would be impossible for an average person to master.
Wrong. There is one position in hockey that does not require you to know how to skate, and in fact, seems to be based primarily on your ability to fall down and writhe in pain. I'm talking, of course, about being a goalie. Did you know that goalie "skates" are specifically designed to make skating difficult? The entire job of a goalie is to stay in the same spot, and skating is actually a bad thing for goalies.
This means that you can become a goalie even if you don't know how to skate.
There are only a few things you do need to know how to do.
1. You need to know how to put on all those pads. I can't help you with this, so don't ask.
2. You need to stay in front of the goal at all times and take up as much space as possible there
3. Thats it.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
We've been running a few blogs lately about making money by becoming a professional athlete in a team sport. Team sports allow mediocre players to develop niche skills that are necessary at specific situations during a game. You don't have to have a lot of talent at the sport if you simply practice and perfect a single niche skill. NFL teams have 53 men on their rosters, so there are plenty of role players who are only there for specific plays. Most football players are colossal freakshows who weigh 300 pounds and can run faster than your car. Most ordinary people would not be able to compete in the NFL. However, the role players who sit the bench for most of the game are relatively normal people who have simply developed one skill, and are willing to occasionally get trampled by large angry men.
1. Kicker. Kickers in the NFL are notoriously skinny and unathletic. Their only job is to kick the football really hard. If you practice this enough starting in your teens, you should be able to get good at it. Most teams use the same kicker for kicking field goals as they use for kickoffs, so if you can kick accurately, you will be worth a lot more. Again, the only thing between you and the NFL is a lot of practice as a kicker. Accuracy is not hard if you practice enough. This job occasionally requires you to get flattened and trampled by several large angry men who only know how to chase footballs and will use the shortest path to the football,
even if especially if it involves trampling on you.
2. Punter. The punter has to punt. Thats it. This job occasionally requires you to get flattened by several large angry men who don't know where the ball is, but do know that you had it last.
3. Longsnapper. This job is for someone who is able to "hike" the ball accurately to a distance of 15 yards. This job ALWAYS requires you to be trampled and beaten by enormous angry men for being in the way.
4. Holder. This job requires you to catch a hiked ball, put it on your toe, and hold it there with your finger. It occasionally requires you to get kicked in the hand really hard by the kicker, and frequently requires you to get flattened by a bunch of large angry men.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
Yesterday we ran a post about how to make money by being mildly good at baseball in which we pointed out a few niche skills that can get you into the pros. Basketball works the same way. The starting salary in the NBA is $457,000 in 2010, so you can make more in basketball than baseball (min. salary is $400,000 in baseball). However, baseball has a high average salary.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Baseball is the only major professional team sport that does not have a salary cap. Sure, you can make millions by playing football or basketball, but you won't make nearly as much as you could in baseball. Individual sports like golf can pay a lot, but you have to be good at them. In baseball however, you don't have to be all that good. It is a team sport with a 25 man roster, so all you have to do is develop a niche talent that gets you onto the team. Sure, if you can hit lots of homeruns, you will get paid more, but the minimum wage for major league players is $400,000, and the average league salary is just under $3 million. This is why labor unions are awesome.
Here are some niche skills that can get you into the pros
1. Learn how to throw a baseball 85 mph with you left hand. Lefties are only 10% of the population, and left handed pitchers are unusually successful against most hitters, so you will be a hot commodity. If you are left handed and 12 or 13 years old, you can practice throwing hard every few days, and if you seriously dedicate yourself to it, you probably will get into the 80-90 MPH zone by the time you are 20 or so. This should be enough to get you into college for free, or possibly drafted straight out of high school into the minor leagues. Baseball even has a name for mediocre pitchers who are left-handed: LOOGY. It stands for "Lefthanded One Out GuY." (seriously) A LOOGY is brought into a close game toward the end of the game and given a specific job of pitching to a single batter who is known to struggle against lefties. LOOGYs usually appear in about 70 games per year, for no longer than 5 mins at a time. They make between $400,000 and 5 million per year.
2. Find a way to get short and stocky, and have extremely reliable knees. Then learn to catch baseballs. Catchers are a very rare breed of baseball player. They are not usually expected to be very good hitters, and they don't really have to play the field much. All they are expected to do is squat behind the plate for 3.5 hours everyday without their knees falling off. I'm not sure how being short and stocky became a requirement, but it is. Most catchers who turn out to be very good eventually get the nickname "pudge."
3. Learn how to throw a knuckleball. There are about 7 billion people living in the world. To my knowledge, only one of them knows how to throw a knuckleball. His name is Tim Wakefield, and he has been a successful major league pitcher for 18 years. A knuckleball is any way of throwing a ball that causes it not to spin at all. If you can find a way to do this you will go pro. One of the best parts about throwing the knuckleball is that you don't have to throw it very hard. Throwing hard eventually causes your shoulder to break in half, and usually ends baseball player's careers. However, knuckleball pitchers can play effectively into their late 40s or low 50s.
4. Play for the Pirates or the Royals. In Pittsburgh and Kansas City, actual baseball skills are not a requirement to make the team, so you can just show up with a uniform and a glove. Very few people are willing to play for these teams, so they will appreciate you showing up.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Happy Mother's Day Gwen! Congratulations! Your son Tyler has dedicated this blog to you for the day, outbidding the entire Ebay community just for you! This poem is also featured on www.Todayisjustforyou.com
This Mother's day, like none before
I finally understand
The depth of love a parent feels
when holding tiny hands
The joy you did experience
Watching as we grew
Is now mine to see and feel
And all because of you
The father now that I can be
(Your mothering be praised)
Is strong and confident and sure.
This is the man you raised.
I see the sacrifices made
The struggles you went through
And lovingly, as you have done
I'll gladly make them too.
Thank you for your godliness,
Your character is true
Your humble helpfulness shows that
I can depend on you
I hope the kind of father
I will someday prove to be
Is as loving, kind, and praiseworthy
As the mom you are to me.
Would you like to dedicate a personalized, unique blog for a birthday, anniversary, or special day to someone you care about? Check out other "Show your love" dedications that we have done, and email us if you are interested.
It is a well known fact that people litter. It is also a well known fact that it is illegal to litter. Unfortunately in the United States, people tend to get upset if the government actually enforces laws. So often times, the government just decides its not worth enforcing laws. One of these laws is littering. When I refer to littering, I'm not talking about throwing trash-bags-full-of-garbage-out-of-your-sunroof-going-down-the-highway type of litter... just the little things littering. i.e. cigarette butts out the window, straw wrappers on the floor, toothpicks from free samples at the food court, etc. This lack of government intervention/ enforcement of an existing law, is a great money making opportunity.
The key to making money off of people littering is to invoke martial law. When you see someone look around to see if anyone is looking, inconspicuously drop the tooth pick from their free sample on the floor and pretend like nothing happened, and continue on with you life... this is when you take action.
Step by step plan:
1) Yell at the top of your lungs "I am a U.S. citizen invoking martial law against the combatant militants in our midst." You must say it word for word, and really loud so everyone within 50 feet can hear you. If you do not do this it will not count and then you will just look silly.
2) Tackle the person who has littered.
3) Shove their face in their litter (note: this can also be applied to people who do not pick up their dog poop)
4) Tell them you are going to incarcerate them for breaking the law
5) After they start crying and are repentant... tell them they have to give you at least $1 and you will let them go. If they do not have any cash... get their email address so you can send them a paypal invoice. Note: if the person is an illegal immigrant and are afraid of deportation... you can usually get much more than $1.
6) Take money, make them pick up their trash and eat it. Video tape them eating their trash. Make money putting the video on youtube.
7) If you do not hold the litterer accountable... you are guilty for littering as well and run the risk of having someone invoke Martial Law against you.
This must be done... or Mother Earth will cry and all of the global warming and Al Gore "haters" will win.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Happy Birthday Cade! Today How To Make A Dollar is dedicated just for you. As one of our premium members... we have taken this opportunity to show you how much you are appreciated.
Happy Birthday Cade
We love you so much this birthday blog we have made
Hopefully you have a good breakfast of toast with marmalade
And a birthday present made of jade
This is a simple poem from us to you
A rhyming line or two, we promise just a few
To show how much we care about someone who is only twenty two
so here it goes, if you do not like it, please don't sue
Cade you are a great father and friend
with you people cherish the time they spend
If there is a problem, you take the time to mend
You are loyal to the end
Your wife loves you so very much
but less than a dollar because she did not pay for this blog and such
If she knew this birthday blog was available, I have a hunch
she would have bought you one because she loves you a bunch!
All of your family and friends who forgot to get you a card or present can donate here:
This blog is also exclusively on www.todayisjustforyou.com
Thursday, May 6, 2010
How To Make A Dollar has hit a new milestone in our pursuit of $1,000,000! We received our first feedback on ebay... and thankfully it was positive!
Since we are now a 100% positive feedback ebay seller you should buy one of our listed items. http://myworld.ebay.com/how2makeadollar/
Especially the mothers day card! Out bid the current highest bidder... are you really going to let them love their mother more than you love your mother???
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
This idea has limitless potential. I'm going to share a few examples.
1. Repackage someone else's creation
Who wrote the song "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"? I'm fairly certain it wasn't Salina Yoon. But yet, she can make money selling a book that solely contains the words to a song she didn't write. Also see, "Wheels on the Bus", "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider", and other various nursery rhymes and fairy tales.
2. "Enhance" someone else's creation
Most people would agree that Jane Austen novels are ok, but are missing something that they can't quite put a finger on. Well that something is zombies. Or sea monsters. Or mummies. The point is, apparently you can take a classic work of literature, add a few lines of your own, and have reputable book-mongers stock your "creation". Or even get a movie deal! There are plenty of classic works to choose from, but if your brain flushed whatever you may have learned from high school English class to free up space to think about twitter, here's a head start:
Moby Dick - Replace the original protagonist with Moby, the international electronic music sensation
Crime and Punishment - The crime: adultery. The punishment: a scarlet letter. Sound familiar? Just change the title of The Scarlet Letter and no one will know the difference
1984 - Instead of totalitarianism, link the popular culture from the '80s to the demise of mankind
A Tale of Two Cities - Make this one about a young girl's strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk
Jane Eyre - No need to change anything here. Nobody really reads this book, but yet many own it anyway.
3. Claim someone else's creation as your own
This is alternately called plagiarism, forgery, and theft and is mostly frowned upon. Somehow different from the first two options and can land you in jail.
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
Mothers day is coming up soon. Howtomakeadollar offers a very unique service of providing personalized online cards. Mothers day is a great opportunity to take advantage of this feature. We have listed our service of providing a unique personalized mothers day card on ebay. If you would like to have your mother featured on her own website for the day that contains a personalized sonnet, love poem, and/or haiku written by us, for you... place your bid.
To get an idea of how your page will look, you can see several previous personalized cards here, here and here.
Check out other great Mothers Day gift ideas... www.todayisjustforyou.com
Monday, May 3, 2010
Centralia is a town in Pennsylvania that sits on top of a coal mine that's been on fire for nearly 50 years. It's true, look it up. It was an ordinary coal mining town in Pennsylvania's Anthracite coal region with roughly 1100 residents living there in the 1960s. Only 9 remain today. The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is in the process of trying to evict the remaining residents due to the "dangerous gases" that could seep into their homes. The Centralians claim the real reason they're being evicted is so that someone can gain access to the millions of dollars worth of coal under their town. (Apparently the government of Centralia owns the rights to the coal, not the Commonwealth, unlike most of the rest of the state). This raises a few questions: If dangerous gases were really seeping into their homes since the fire started in the 60s, wouldn't they be dead already? Conversely, if the remaining coal can still be mined, why hasn't it been mined by now?
Either way, there is opportunity to make money here. If the Commonwealth is right, and the eviction stands (the residents are asking a judge today in Harrisburg to stop the eviction), there will suddenly be nine people that need to move. And chances are, if they are the kind of people that stubbornly hold onto a house that sits on top of a burning coal mine for 50 years, then they are the kind of people that stubbornly hold onto everything (also known as hoarders). So they will have a lot of stuff to move and will need significant help moving it. This is where you can come in. Rent a large truck, swing into town claiming to be an expert in coal mining town evacuations (if that's not true yet, it will be by the time you're finished) and offer your services, for a small fee of your choosing, to help the townsfolk relocate. You could even give them a "bulk rate". People go for those sorts of things.
However, the preferred option is that the residents are right, and the Commonwealth is only after the rights of the coal. This would mean that someone thinks that the remaining coal is salvageable, and worth enough to use the force of the commonwealth to evict people from their homes to get it. Well, not if you can get to it first. Presumably, there will be a legal battle, and all legal battles take more than a year to resolve, which should give you plenty of time to carry out this plan. First, move to Centralia (real estate is surprisingly affordable there). Then win over your new neighbors (all nine of them) and get elected as mayor. When you become the mayor, you technically become the government of Centralia, which would mean that you own the rights to the coal. Put out the fire* and mine the estimated one billion dollars worth of coal (share some profits with your constituents, they waited a long time for something good to come from the miserable hell they've been living in).
*even though no one's been able to put out the fire for almost 50 years**, I'm going to assume that you'll find a way. But if you can't put out the fire, a burning coal mine is basically the same thing as a coal burning power plant. Use it to start generating electricity and you'll be set for life.
** apparently, one of the remaining 9 residents is Centralia's fire chief. He's only 49, so at no time during his reign as fire chief has there not been a fire in Centralia. Not very good for his resume if he gets evicted.
Thanks to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review for the inspiration for this story.
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Congratulations to Joseph Pull for making $1 off of this idea!!!!!!
Howtomakeadollar supports physical fitness feels physical fitness is overrated. One way to get a good workout is to take up racing in triathlons. Triathlons consist of swimming, biking and running. They are easy. People usually do not need to do any training for triathlons.
To make lose an extra dollar or two we suggest participating in triathlons with your friends and betting them you will beat them.
Step by Step plan:
1) Pay $180 for a year member ship to a swimming pool
2) Buy a new pair of $125 running shoes (howtomakeadollar is sponsored by Nike+ shoes, so use them!) (this is obviously an unsubstantiated claim... we just needed an excuse to include a picture)
3) Buy a new $2,900 bike, the more expensive the faster it is! (false: expensive bikes are slow... the older and rustier they are the better!)
4) Train (not completely necessary)
5) Sign up for the Smith Mountain Lake sprint triathlon
6) Bet your friend $1 that you finish before they do
7) Finish before your friend does (this one is the most important step in the plan)
7a) Allow your friend to pass you with only .5 miles left in the race... and watch them cross the finish line 30 seconds before you do.
8) Added benefit... listen as the winners daughters remind you that their daddy is faster than you and that he won the race!
Easy way to make lose $1!
At least somebody made a dollar off of the deal! Way to go Joe!!!!!