How to Make Billions of Dollars Without Paying any Taxes

Some jerk who I have never associated with, and who is not in any way associated with any of the prestigious people who contribute to the Howtomakeadollar cause, recently wrote an article which claims that labor unions pay no taxes in the United States. The jerk face clown author who I do not know says they are tax exempt 501(c)5 organizations and don't have to pay taxes. I don't personally believe it, simply because the government is ALWAYS trying to tax people more, and there is no way in the world they would let a whole category of organizations avoid taxes. You can read the no good bogus terrible piece of garbage racist war mongering thing by clicking on this wretched link.

Especially since they are so rich. Labor unions bring in billions of dollars every year, so I am absolutely certain that the government must be taxing them out the nose, because the government has spent the past three and a half years talking about taxing the rich and so on. Well, if labor unions have so much money, then they must certainly be paying high taxes, so I don't believe whoever the guy was who said they don't pay any taxes.

He also says they are allowed to monopolize entire sectors of the economy. No way that is true. Monopolies and trusts are bad. Then he said they are allowed to threaten and intimidate people without being prosecuted. That can't be true either.

So anyway, if you want to make billions of dollars without paying taxes on it, I don't know what to tell you. That is illegal in the United States. Only a corrupt place like Russia or China would allow something like that to happen, so move there.

A good way to make billions, though, whether taxed or not, would be to create an organization that takes money directly out of people's pay checks, and tells them that their business executives are evil and will stop paying them altogether, and you are only taking a small cut of the people's pay, and they should thank you for your great work. That would probably make you a couple bill.

Make money by ratting on your friends to the IRS

You may not be aware, but every year the IRS offers a reward to anyone who provides them with information about a person who has evaded taxes. If you turn in someone for tax evasion the IRS will give you a reward of 10% of whatever amount the person owed. Usually this comes to several thousand dollars or more, but sometimes it is in the millions. You will need some basic information about the person, including their social security number. This is for real. You can download the official form here: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f211.pdf. Warning. This is a real IRS form, and may cause temporary insanity, blindness, and rage. 

There are several ways to cash in on this

1. Find a shady rich person who looks like he doesn't pay taxes. You can usually find this variety of rich person by buying drugs from people. If someone sells you drugs, get their first and last name, their social security number, and their address. Most drug dealers will gladly provide you with this information if you promise that you are not an undercover cop. Then run away and call the IRS. Important: Do not actually use the drugs that you bought. Drugs are bad for you.

2. Pick nine random numbers and add hyphens at a few places, such as 104-39-5301*. Then make up a name and an address, and send it to the IRS. If you do this a couple of times you will probably get someone who has actually evaded some of their taxes. Jackpot.

3. Evade your own taxes. Turn yourself in. Collect reward. This is probably the easiest way, and mathematically, I think you come out ahead.

4. Pick a person who you don't like, ask them for their social security number, and then tell the IRS that they have withheld a couple million in taxes. If you are very friendly with the IRS person, they will probably take your word for it and go ahead and send you the reward before verifying the info. Then they will audit the person, and you can send them taunting text messages from your beach house that you bought with the reward money. Double jackpot!

5. Report the IRS to the IRS. The IRS will then have to investigate itself for fraud. The resulting audit will probably take several decades to resolve itself, and in the meantime you won't have to pay any taxes, and no one else will either. Once it becomes known that you were the genius behind it, lots of people will send you money to thank you. You should forward this money to Howtomakeadollar. When the audit is finally over, you can collect 10% of the U.S. GDP as your reward. This should be enough money for you to buy a motorcycle and drive around the country for a while. Thats what I would do.

*104395301-- I'm pretty sure this is a prime number. If so, everyone on the Internet owes me a dollar. Official Fact Check Guy- Please verify.

Tax Deductions for Artwork

I can only assume that the reason no one has bid on our priceless artwork is because you feel that your house is too modest to be burdened by such a magnificent and groundbreaking wall hanging. However, this is not a real loss for us, because we can still make a significant amount of money off this piece of art even if no one buys it.

How? By getting a tax deduction of course. You see, anything you donate to a registered non-profit organization in the U.S. is tax deductible. That means that if you donate some old clothes to the local Salvation Army, you can write it off in your taxes. The downside is that old clothes aren't worth much, so your tax writeoff will be like five dollars. 

The key is to donate something extremely valuable. This is where priceless artwork comes in. 

How to get a high tax deduction for a junky piece of art

1. Create some sort of artwork. It does not have to be good.

2. Offer to sell it to your friends

3. Convince a few of them to bid the price up to an extremely high price, like 80 dollars (some art goes for multi millions of dollars, so really, there is not much of a limit)

4. Do not actually sell it to them. They are bidding the price up artificially high, knowing that they will not actually have to buy it at that price.

5. After the price has been bid up really high, donate the art to some kind of charity

6. Tell the charity that the art is worth whatever amount your friends bid it up to. I doubt they will ask many questions about this.

7. Get a receipt from the charity

8. Write off this amount in your taxes the following year*

9. Wait for the IRS to approve your gigantic tax refund. I imagine they will approve it immediately, and send you a nice card thanking you for your generosity towards the charity. The IRS is very friendly, and always approves everything.

10. Collect your enormous tax refund

*This idea is actually more illegal than most of our other ones, to the point that we feel it is necessary to point out that you should not actually do it. It is called tax fraud. Even though Al Capone probably killed like 1000 people in the 1920s and 1930s, the thing that finally got him in trouble was tax fraud. The FBI may not notice if you kill a bunch of gangsters in Chicago, but if you do something shady with your taxes, they will always find out.

Alternative idea:  if you do not want to be on the bad side of the IRS change step 5 in the above business plan to read "5. After the price has been bid up really high, demand the highest bidder pay the full bid price."  Friends forget and forgive... the IRS does not!