How To Make Money On A Burning Coal Mine

Centralia is a town in Pennsylvania that sits on top of a coal mine that's been on fire for nearly 50 years.  It's true, look it up.  It was an ordinary coal mining town in Pennsylvania's Anthracite coal region with roughly 1100 residents living there in the 1960s.  Only 9 remain today.  The Commonwealth of Pennsylvania is in the process of trying to evict the remaining residents due to the "dangerous gases" that could seep into their homes.  The Centralians claim the real reason they're being evicted is so that someone can gain access to the millions of dollars worth of coal under their town.  (Apparently the government of Centralia owns the rights to the coal, not the Commonwealth, unlike most of the rest of the state).  This raises a few questions:  If dangerous gases were really seeping into their homes since the fire started in the 60s, wouldn't they be dead already?  Conversely, if the remaining coal can still be mined, why hasn't it been mined by now? 

Either way, there is opportunity to make money here.  If the Commonwealth is right, and the eviction stands (the residents are asking a judge today in Harrisburg to stop the eviction), there will suddenly be nine people that need to move.  And chances are, if they are the kind of people that stubbornly hold onto a house that sits on top of a burning coal mine for 50 years, then they are the kind of people that stubbornly hold onto everything (also known as hoarders).  So they will have a lot of stuff to move and will need significant help moving it.  This is where you can come in.  Rent a large truck, swing into town claiming to be an expert in coal mining town evacuations (if that's not true yet, it will be by the time you're finished) and offer your services, for a small fee of your choosing, to help the townsfolk relocate.  You could even give them a "bulk rate".  People go for those sorts of things.

However, the preferred option is that the residents are right, and the Commonwealth is only after the rights of the coal. This would mean that someone thinks that the remaining coal is salvageable, and worth enough to use the force of the commonwealth to evict people from their homes to get it.  Well, not if you can get to it first.  Presumably, there will be a legal battle, and all legal battles take more than a year to resolve, which should give you plenty of time to carry out this plan.  First, move to Centralia (real estate is surprisingly affordable there).  Then win over your new neighbors (all nine of them) and get elected as mayor.  When you become the mayor, you technically become the government of Centralia, which would mean that you own the rights to the coal.  Put out the fire* and mine the estimated one billion dollars worth of coal (share some profits with your constituents, they waited a long time for something good to come from the miserable hell they've been living in).

*even though no one's been able to put out the fire for almost 50 years**, I'm going to assume that you'll find a way.  But if you can't put out the fire, a burning coal mine is basically the same thing as a coal burning power plant.  Use it to start generating electricity and you'll be set for life.

** apparently, one of the remaining 9 residents is Centralia's fire chief.  He's only 49, so at no time during his reign as fire chief has there not been a fire in Centralia.  Not very good for his resume if he gets evicted.


Thanks to the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review for the inspiration for this story.

How to Make Money By Collecting Nickels

Bear with me on this one

Currently (Dec. 2009) U.S. nickels are worth five cents. The cost of the materials that nickels are made of (nickel and copper) comes to about 4.5 cents. So the face value of a nickel is slightly more than the cost of the materials. However, commodity prices are subject to fluctuation. In 2008 the amount of copper and nickel in nickels was actually worth about 6 cents. That means that if you had sold your nickels as metal, you would have made about a 20% profit. Not bad.

Commodities in general, and metals specifically, are expected to make significant gains in 2010 and for the foreseeable future as the dollar loses value. This means that the price of copper and nickel is likely to increase, while the face value of a nickel is likely to decrease. This means that in the future your nickels will be worth more for their metal content than as currency. In fact, I will go out on a pretty solid limb and personally guarantee you that sometime in the next two years, the value of a nickel will be higher for its metal than for its worth as money.

And its happened before too. Dimes used to be made almost entirely out of silver. However, in 1965, the cost of silver exceeded the value of the dime. So guess what happened? The government changed the makeup of dimes and started making them out of cheaper alloys. How much are pre-1965 silver dimes worth now? About $1.25. Imagine if you had stashed $1000 in dimes in 1965. A one-thousand dollar investment would now be worth $125,000. Thats hard to beat. Especially when you consider that there is no way to lose. More on this later.

Why does the price go up? Lots of reasons, but the big one is obvious. Once the government starts producing cheaper substitutes, the Treasury Dept. is going to start collecting all the more valuable originals to melt down and sell as metal. They aren't stupid. You can't keep producing coins that cost more to make than they are worth.

Once the majority of the valuable nickels are pulled off the market, the only ones left will be the cheap substitutes. Collectors will rush to get their hands on the original nickels. Other people will rush to melt them and sell them as metal. Either way, the nickel you bought for five cents will be selling for a lot more than that.

The best part about this investment is that you can't lose. Even if I'm wrong (never happened before) you can't lose. Lets say nickel and copper prices drop significantly and the government never starts using cheaper alloys. Well, your nickel is still worth five cents. You didn't lose anything. You can hold it for 50 years and never lose. Do you know of any other investments that can't lose value?

The downside is that you have to actually buy a crapload of nickels and keep them somewhere safe. To make it worthwhile you should probably buy at least $1000 worth, which would take up a lot of space and be very heavy.

You can go to banks and ask for $50 worth of nickels without attracting too much notice. Vending machine operators and fast food chains do this frequently. Just go to the bank once a month and buy a bunch of nickels. Eventually you will have a pretty big collection. Its an investment that can't lose, and will probably make major gains.