How to make $310 million in shady international political deals (Not making this one up)

Ok everybody: Greetings, salutations. I hope you are doing well, eating right, and preparing for global warming.

Now listen up. Big things are happening at Howtomakeadollar. We are changing our whole philosophy and throwing down our savings for our best idea yet. Drop all your one dollar ideas, and drop all your ethical grey areas. Quit your job, sell your stuff, and dump your girlfriend. Also, cancel Twitter. It is kind of dumb and will probably be made fun of in a few years, like things from the 1980s.

(You will need Facebook for this idea, so keep that.)

Thats right. We're moving to Nauru. No, Nauru is not a made up Star Trek place. Its the awesomest island paradise in the South Pacific, where everybody has a beachfront, it never snows, and shoes are optional. An island so dominated by fantasticness that they just got paid $50 million to "friend" two new countries.

Nope, not kidding.

Here's how it happened.
For years, Nauru was a tiny, isolated, and poor island nation that survived by exporting fossilized bird poop. Yep fossilized bird brownies. (I swear, everything in this post is true). I don't know what the world has come to. I have no idea who was buying this stuff, or what they were doing with it. My guess is it went like this:

Guy from Nauru: "I have an unpublished copy of the next Harry Potter book in this bag. I'll sell it to you for a dollar. 
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: "A dollar eh?"
Guy from Nauru: "I think thats about 1000 Canadian."
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: "Can I see it first?"
Guy from Nauru: "No."
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: "Eh. ok."
they exchange cash
Guy from Nauru: "LOL!!!" (runs away)
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: (opens bag) "Bird poo fossils eh!?" (Shakes fist angrily)

Suffice to say, the fossilized poop industry was not kind to Nauru, and by the late 1990s they had run out of it. Yep, the world bought out all their bird poop fossils. Nauru sank into complete poverty.

However, when your entire national economy is based on selling poop fossils, you learn a lot about salesmanship. In 2003, they found a better way. A much better way.

In 2003 China paid them $130 million to officially "derecognize" Taiwan. This is the equivalent of unfriending someone on Facebook, only at a national level.

You would think that $130 million would be enough to last for a while, especially considering that only like 4 or 5 people live on Nauru.

You'd be wrong. In 2005 an unnamed nation gave them even more money (the total was not disclosed) to "re-recognize" Taiwan. Ok. Now we are up past $260 million. Surely that would be enough money right?
Nope.
In December 2009 Russia paid $50 million to Nauru for "friending" the nations of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

Now thats a total of at least $310 million in six years for doing nothing at all.

This is all well and good, but how do I get my hands on that?
Glad you asked. Howtomakeadollar has two recommendations
1. Move to Nauru
Or...
2. Build your own island and charge massive amounts of money to friend and unfriend other countries
2a. Take over a small country and do the same.

You probably think I made this up. But I didn't. You can read about it here. its all true. http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/australiaandthepacific/nauru/6813915/Nauru-recognises-South-Ossetia-and-Abkhazia.html

How to Make Six Dollars By Fixing My Bathroom Window

Business Plan: You fix my bathroom window, I pay you.

Business Description: The bathroom on the third floor of my house has a window. The frame of this window is rotted, and does not allow the window to close properly. This allows cold air to come in, as well as occasional insects. If you can fix it, I'll give you ten dollars. I estimate that you will need to buy about four dollars worth of lumber for this job. That will give you a $6 profit in addition to the rotted wood, which I will let you keep as a reader appreciation gift. You will also need a 40 foot ladder because the rotted frame is inaccessible from the inside of the house, and gloves because it is really cold today. I estimate that it will take you about an hour, which comes to $6 an hour.  Not bad. Many people in Zimbabwe will not make six dollars in a full year. Six dollars can buy approximately 60 candy canes in the week after Christmas, or one peep hole. You could also photocopy it. You can use the rotted wood to beat up terrorists, or animals, or to expand your island. Basically, you are robbing me blind with this business opportunity, but I'm a nice guy.

How to Make Money by Making Islands out of Garbage

Business Name: Garbage Island Paradise Co.

Business Plan: 
1.Collect garbage from people for a fee.
2. Look around on Craigslist to see if anyone will let you borrow a barge for a few weeks. (A good rule of thumb for barge aquisitions is that bigger is always better)
3. Put the garbage into the barge

4. Drive the barge out into international waters, preferably somewhere warm

5. dump the garbage out

6. keep track of the location where you dumped it

7. repeat steps 3-5 until you have successfully built an island. I doubt this step will take very long.

8. Go to a beach at night

9. Dig up a barge load of sand

10. Dump the sand on top of the garbage island

11. Spread it around

12. Repeat steps 8-11 until garbage island is covered in sand

13. Plant palm trees on island

14. Get a bunch of coconuts and dead crabs.

15. Distribute them evenly around the island

16. Hire some women to walk around

17. Subdivide island and sell off portions of it to developers

18. Collect garbage generated by island tourists for a fee

19. Repeat steps 2-17 somewhere else.

Business Risks: Island floats away, Island smells like garbage

Profitability: This business works on many levels. First, you can make money by collecting garbage. Second, you can make money by selling island real estate.

Business costs: Sand can be expensive, which is why Howtomakeadollar recommends digging it up from beaches at night.

Feasibility Quotient: 94

As a side note:  some guy actually spend $16 billion making his own island (pictured below).

What was he thinking?  He would not be in such serious financial ruin right now if he had used peoples trash!

Additional option: There is an existing trash island?  Almost.  The Great Pacific Garbage Patch is growing!  Just get a big net or ball of yarn to link the trash together.  Its an island that will keep on growing!