Sunday, January 31, 2010

How to make $107.32 in two weeks and lose it in 18 seconds

We recently blogged about how to make money from your blog.  Everything in that post is a lie!

As a result of our quick success with Google's Adsense (earning $107.32 in two weeks) our blog has been blacklisted by Google.  It appears the visitors to our site were a little too eager to click on advertisements for Google's liking.  Our Google Adsense account has been deactivated because we pose a "SIGNIFICANT RISK."  We are suspected of creating "invalid clicks."  GOOGLE KNOWS ALL AND SEES ALL!  Google knows every website you go to, how long you go to them, what you do while you're on the site, and how many advertisements you normally click on.  So, if you normally do not click on advertisements and then you came to our site and clicked on several advertisements... Google considers your click "invalid."

We appreciate your clicks on our sponsors advertisements... but unfortunately Google does not.  So we will not be seeing a single penny of the $107.32 we generated.  If anyone knows of other advertisers who want to advertise on our site... please let us know.

That being said, this blog is hosted by, which is a free service offered by Google, so although we are kind of bitter about not being able to advertise, we are still big fans of Google, and would recommend this service to anyone interested in blogging.

Saturday, January 30, 2010

Many Ways to Make a Dollar

Howtomakeadollar is pleased to report that in its first two months of existence, anyone who had actually bothered to try each of our ideas would have made over $335 million. I don't know anyone who is able to make that much money in that short a period of time, except maybe Ben Bernanke, who literally makes money, which is kind of an ethical grey area if you ask me. Click here to see how it is done.

So far we have posted 61 excellent business ideas and one very good video that did not put me to sleep. The bulk of our success came from two ideas. Our best idea is to plan an invasion of the island of Nauru, which has made over $310 in the past few years by making various deals with Russia and China.

Our next best idea is to catch Osama bin Laden, who currently has a $25 million reward attached to his head. Our post is pretty long, but you will see that catching him is actually rather simple, and no one else seems to be after him.

Not only would you have made tons of cash, but you would also have made some close friends in Nigeria, gotten a promotion at work, and would be living on your own hand-made island. 

Friday, January 29, 2010

How to Make Money by Destroying Nice Clothes

Business Description: The clothing industry is extremely large and extremely profitable. My guess is you have upwards of 20 different clothing brands in your closet, and your wife probably has twice that. Personally, I would estimate that my wife has 1011  more clothes than me. 

I knew a guy college who had 29 different belts. He also had about 10 suits. He was only 19 when I knew him, but he was on the phone a lot and I'm pretty sure Donald Trump worked for him.

I digress. My point is that people seem to wear clothing pretty much everywhere I've ever been, so its a good industry to get involved in. But there is more than one kind of clothing.

There is normal, ordinary working class clothing. Jeans in this category cost about $30. A decent shirt can be around $20-$40.

Then there is high fashion, "designer" clothes. Designer jeans usually cost about $300, and can go into the thousands.

Here is how you can get involved in this racket
1. Buy a normal pair of jeans at Wal-Mart
2. Buy some sandpaper
3. Scrape jeans with sandpaper until they are worn out and have several holes in them.
4. Sell jeans to some guy for $300

Side Question: Is there any other industry where this concept would work? What if a high end car dealer like BMW intentionally rear-ended all their cars with a bulldozer as they came off the assembly line? Then, just for a "comfortable feel" they dumped chips all over the interior and made the steering wheel sticky?* What if new furniture was marketed for being stained and wobbly?

*Is anyone else's steering wheel sticky, or is that just something that happens to my cars?

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Grand Duchy of Luxembourg

If you want to make more money, why not live in the country with the highest average income?  That county would be Luxembourg, or as it's officially known, the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg.  With a population less than that of Albuquerque, the GD of L is the land of financial opportunity, especially in the sectors of banking, steel, and "industry".  As a Luxembourgian Industrialist, you would enjoy a higher average income than your American peers while consuming fine delicacies such as fried river fish, cooked cheese, and bouneschlupp.  You may also find it necessary to become trilingual, as most Luxemburgers speak French, German, and the made up language, Luxembourgish.  There are few left in the world that speak it, so learn that gibberish before it's completely forgotten.  There are technology opportunities too, as Luxembourg has recently caught on to the internet and its moneymaking potential, attracting internet startups and companies such as eBay and Skype.  In conclusion, though it is landlocked and bordered by Belgium, Luxembourg citizens enjoy a high quality of life and the highest average salaries in the world, so pack a bag, hop on a plane, and emigrate to Luxembourg!

Thanks to wikipedia for many of the trivial tidbits included in this post.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

24,000 $100 ideas

Worth taking a look at...   Every Word is for Sale!

It's a website that sells every word on its page.  When you buy a word, it becomes an advertisement to your website.  It looks like its only made $1,000 so far.  But hey, thats $1,000 more than we've made at this point.  Click here for other inspirational websites we have blogged about.

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

The Biggest Loser

The Biggest Loser television show is a hit!  People like to sit and eat ice cream while watching fat people on TV workout, cry, get mad, and loose weight.  What more do you need in a show?  Instead of gaining 500 pounds and trying out for Biggest Loser season 57, start your own biggest loser competition at your job.

Step by Step plan to make money from starting your own Biggest Loser competition.
1) Gain weight (this is usually pretty easy between October and December every year)
2) Complain to other people at work about your weight gain (this will allow you to find out other people that are disgruntled with their weight gain as well)
3) Get all of the disgruntled overweight people together and suggest you all start a biggest loser competition
4) Get each person to put $10 into the pot
5) Weigh everyone each week (for additional money, get each person to put an extra $1 into a weekly pot that goes to the person who loses the most money that week)
6) Lose weight (this is the most important step in the plan)
7) Give everyone else in the competition candy and cookies so they gain weight
8) Lose the most weight, win the money

This is a good idea that can be done every year.  Just make sure you gain a lot of weight during Thanksgiving and Christmas.

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Congratulations to Chris B!  You are the winner of our first FREE MONEY GIVEAWAY (specifically $1).  Way to go.

We like to reward our readers for taking the time to visit our site.  So, keep checking back for our next FREE MONEY GIVEAWAY!

Increase productivity at Work and Home

How to increase productivity at work and home

One thing that continually amazes me at work is how much time is spent at meetings, writing emails, and talking with people.

When I get home its more of the same.

There is no way to completely avoid this, but there is one simple trick you can use to speed things along significantly: Eliminate all unnecessary syllables, both in speech and in writing.

It is a well known fact that the average person takes 2 seconds per syllable, and can take up to five seconds on long ones like "able" as in "syllable".
As always, Howtomakeadollar offers this trick at no fee, enirely for your benefit

Do: Say "twenty-ten" when telling people what year it is (Syllable Count: 3)
Don't: Say "Two Thousand and Ten" (Syllable Count: 5)
Syllables Saved: 2
Estimated time savings in the course of a year: 30 hours
Estimated time savings in the course of a century: 48 years (It turns out that if everyone says "twenty" instead of "two thousand" the century will actually end way ahead of schedule. I did the math on this myself.)
Definitely Do Not Say: Two-Oh-One-Oh

Do: Call your boss "dude" or "lady"
Don't: Call them by their real name, which is usually longer
Estimated Time Savings: 23 hours

Do: Eliminate all unnecessary words
Don't: Offer explanations
Also Don't: Ask questions that can be worded as statements
Do: "I'm leaving now"
Don't: "I have an appointment this afternoon and I have to be there by 2:00, so is it ok if I leave a little bit early?
Estimated Time Savings: Incalculable
Your boss and your spouse will appreciate your efficiency, and you will get more work done. With the time you save, you should be free to work on other money making ideas.

Related idea: Substitute the words "are" "you," and sometimes "why" with the letters "R" "U" and sometimes "Y" in all emails. Your co-workers will envy your professionalism and you will save valuable keystrokes.

Saturday, January 23, 2010

Make money by not showering

Easy way to make a lot of cash and save money and the environment by not showering!

Business plan:
1) Stop taking showers
2) Stop wearing deodorant
3) Stop brushing your teeth
4) Repeat steps 1 through 3 for at least 10 days
5) Become a really close talker with all of your coworkers
6) When people start complaining about your stench tell them it will cost them $1each for you to start showering again
7) Start showering again and collect money
8) When money stops flowing in from your coworkers repeat steps 1 through 7 (for step 4 increase duration of filth to 20 days.

Note: this may prohibit you from getting a promotion... so make sure you work the numbers to figure out which one will make you more: a raise or money from each of your coworkers everyday for the rest of your career.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Make Money By Saying Good Things About Bad Movies

Have you ever noticed that movie posters\ads usually have flattering quotes on them declaring what amazing movies they are?  You know, like "A Triumph!", "A Masterpiece!", or "This is a ... movie".  Of course you have, you're very observant.  Well, many of these movies do not deserve these accolades, and some of them surely struggle to get anyone to say anything nice about them whatsoever.  This is where you can step in.  Watch the movie*, come up with something nice to say about it like "I can't wait to see this again" or "It did not make me fall asleep", and call whoever is in charge of collecting these quotes.  This is where you're going to have to do a little research because I don't know who you're going to need to contact.  But you could stand to show a little more initiative.  When they ask who you are and why they should use your quote for their movie, tell them either you represent the voice to the movie-going public, or that you work for a newspaper such as the Harristown Post-Review.  They may not check up on you.  If they fall for this, have them pay you.  It really doesn't matter how much they pay you since you didn't do much work anyway.  You're welcome.

* You do not actually have to watch the movie.  Presumably, many of the people who actually provide quotes for these movies do not.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Make money by getting a job

Hopefully by now you have made at least one dollar from an idea we have posted on this blog.  If you have, congratulations, that's more money than we've made so far!  We enjoy thinking of ideas to make money.  Some of them are good, most are ridiculous.  But the reality is... it takes time and effort to make money.  And most likely it will take at least two and a half years to get enough money from our ideas to have enough money to live on our private island.  So, in the mean time, get a job.  Jobs are good, they pay you money on a consistent basis and will give you the freedom to pursue other ideas on the side.  Once you get a job, learn how to get promoted.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Well, its finally here... our first GIVEAWAY!  Just for showing up to our blog and reading this post you could be richer!  Since this blog is about making money (specifically $1)... thats what we're giving away... FREE MONEY (specifically $1).

If you would like to be entered into the drawing for our first FREE MONEY GIVEAWAY, send us an email with the subject "I WANT TO WIN FREE MONEY!"  We will compile all of the emails and pick a winner using our sophisticated "pick a name out of a hat" system.  (one email per email address please)

To enter into the drawing send us an email before 12:00AM Saturday January 23, 2010.  The winner will be notified through email of your winnings and we will post a blog announcing the winner on January 25, 2010.  Good luck winning FREE MONEY IN OUR FREE MONEY GIVEAWAY!

Market Research

Based on our extremely rigorous polling, Howtomakeadollar is pleased to report that its basic business model  (millions of one dollar ideas) is the best.

This poll was conducted for several days in January, 2010, and found that 60% of all people everywhere in the world, including Nauru, believe that a million one dollar ideas is the best way to make a million dollars. The poll also found that taking Christmas trees out is 20% likely to make you a millionaire. The margin of error on this poll is estimated at 20%.

A special thank you to all of our readers who participated!

Make money by staying connected... FOR FREE!!!

Now that you have started a successful business with your friends it is important to stay in touch with them.  A great FREE resource is the Free Conference call website.  It keeps track of all of your calls and even stores them for you so you can play them back.  Pretty cool and the important thing is it's free!  Staying connected ensures your business will be a smashing success.

Monday, January 18, 2010

How to make $1.13 on Ebay

Howtomakeadollar is pleased to announce its first profitable idea!

Shortly after Christmas, I got on Ebay and sold a few items that I didn't want. I sold an old DVD of Good Will Hunting, a devotional book called "A Year with C.S. Lewis" that I never read, and never planned to read, and a box of body butter and shower gel that I "won" from some guy at a gift swap at work.

If you've ever bought anything on Ebay, you already have an account, and it is really easy to sell something. If you've never used Ebay before, I don't know what to tell you. You are clearly not the kind of person who is likely to be very successful in life, and you should quit trying.

I didn't know what the demand for these items would be, so I just marked everything for a dollar. All three items were bid higher, and I made a total of 9.75.

You are probably wondering why the title of this blog is how to make $1.13 right?
Shipping costs

You have to list shipping prices on your item, but I didn't know how much it would cost. Also, Ebay was being weird and would not let me charge more than $3.00 for shipping. I don't know why that happened, or how to avoid it. Anyway, I lost a lot of money on shipping and only came out with $1.13

That being said, I assume the people who bought these items are *regular readers* of this blog. If so, you can feel free to send a few dollars to me to cover the total shipping. You seem like nice people

*Howtomakeadollar is pleased to announce that our readership has expanded significantly around North America and as far away as Nauru, in the middle of the Pacific Ocean, and our daily reader numbers have multiplied by a factor of 20 in the past month.

**Seriously. Two people from Nauru have visited our site and spent time reading it. One of them even left a nice comment that we had to delete because it was too nice. See our post about Nauru

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Make money selling trash to hoarders

So, supposedly there are millions of people in the US who suffer from compulsive hoarding (i.e. keeping a lot of junk).  They can't bring themselves to throw anything away.  Everything is important to them, no matter what it is.  A&E has a whole television show dedicated to them.

Step by Step Business Plan:
1)  Find a hoarders house.  This should be relatively easy.  Drive around and look for the house with long grass and trash... I mean really cool important irreplaceable stuff... thrown around the front yard.  Some hoarders hoard pets, so if there is no trash you could look for the person with 50 cats and 35 dogs running around their front yard
2)  Knock on the door (avoid getting bit by dogs).
3)  Determine what the hoarder collects.  This should be pretty obvious.  You will either see the item they particularly like in their front yard, or pouring out of the door as they open it.
4)  Try hard not to throw up when the door is open... the smell of a house full of trash, filth, and pet urine can be a little overwhelming
5)  Tell them you have some really important stuff for them to buy.  If you can't figure out what they like.. McDonald's Happy Meal toys, pizza boxes, bags of dirty clothes, novelty coffee mugs, or left handed nine irons are usually a pretty safe bet
6)  After they agree to buy stuff from you, go to the closest thrift store dumpster and collect everything you can find (hopefully including their item of choice).
7)  Bring it to their house, take their money
8)  Repeat
9)  Repeat (they can never get enough stuff)

Competition: A&E (the hoarders show saves hoarders from their trash)

If you time it right, you can find the people A&E just "saved."  They will obviously be in a state of depression and miss all of their recently thrown away stuff.  This is a great time to help them fill up their clean houses again.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

There is a $25 million reward for catching Osama bin Laden

A Simple 42 Step Plan for Catching Osama Bin Laden and Collecting a $25 Million Reward.

1. Go to Afghanistan
2. Ask the first person you meet if they have seen Osama bin Laden lately, and which way he was going.
3. Go in whichever direction they point
4. Keep your wits about you
5. Keep going in the same direction for at least 5 mins
6. If you still haven't found him after 5 mins, ask someone else
7. If they claim that they don't know, that means you must be pretty close.
8. Look for the nearest cave
9. Look over your shoulder a few times
10. Go inside cave.
        Reminder: Caves are dark and cause all noises to echo. You will have to rely on your quick wits and a strong sense of smell.
11. Shout "Osaaaaammmma" several times
12. If no one answers that means you are really close
13. *Tell an "Osama Momma" joke* (*see below for a list)
14. Soon Osama bin Laden will come out from behind a stalactite and try to shoot you
15. He will probably miss because its dark, so no worries
16. Since you are in a cave you should be able to see the flash when his gun fires
17. Go towards it
18. Soon you will smell something really gross, like an old person with a big beard who has been living in a cave for 9 years
19. Now you are really close
20. Throw a blanket in the direction of the smell
21. It will probably land on him
22. Dive on top of it
23.  Put your knee on his chest and press down really hard
24. Punch him in the face until your hands hurt
25. Drag him out of the cave
26. Punch him in the face a few more times
27. Tie him up
28. Punch him in the face again and again
29. Drag him a little farther
30. Repeat steps 25-30 until you get to the airport
31. Get out all your paperwork and passport info
32. Take off your shoes
33. Let the security people search your underwear for WMD
34. Let them do a background check and scan your backpacks
35. Throw away your finger nail clippers and your shampoo, and your toothpaste
36. Board airplane headed to Washington D.C.
37. Osama will probably be let straight through because he doesn't use nail clippers, toothpaste or shampoo, so don't worry about him.
38. Fly to D.C., periodically punching him in the face.
39. IMPORTANT: If he starts doing goofy stuff with his shoes or tries to set fire to his underwear you need to beat him senseless with your in-flight magazine right away. Remember to use both your left and right arms equally so that you work all your muscle groups.
40. Collect your reward from some guy at the Pentagon
41. Punch Osama in the face a few more times and tell him to take a bath
42. Wash your hands

*Here is a list of the top ten most effective Osama Momma jokes
1. Osama's momma is so fat she sat on a camel and it turned into a horse
2. Osama's momma is so fat Al Qaeda practices flying planes into her
3. Osama's momma is so fat the CIA called in an airstrike to take her out
4. Osama's momma is so fat she can't visit him in his cave
5. Osama's momma is so fat that whenever someone issues a fatwa she thinks they are talking about her
6. Osama's momma is so fat she eats during Ramadan
7. Osama's momma is so fat she killed an entire town in a suicide bombing. And lived.
8. Osama's momma is so fat people mistakenly make pilgrimages to her
9. Osama's momma is so fat she can pack a dozen WMDs into her underwear
10. Osama's momma is so fat the Taliban established a base behind her

Business Competition: None.

Seriously. None. I want you to think about this. None: I did a Google search for "Catch bin Laden" and the only things that come up are quotes from George W. Bush and John McCain from the 2008 election and earlier. It looks like no one since the 2008 election has been very interested in catching him, so you probably won't have much competition here. No worries. We know that Bush is a stupid liar wacko-bad-for-America-war criminal, and stupid, and irrelevant, and stupid, so he doesn't count, and McCain is irrelevant now too, so he doesn't count. It looks like you have this business all to yourself. No worries.

Related Business Ideas: See Howtomakeadollar's very first post: How to Make Money With a Terrorist

Friday, January 15, 2010

How to Make Money with a Personalized Tip Jar

You've probably been to a restaurant or ice cream place that has a tip jar sitting by the cash register right? How much money is usually in those jars? Usually no more than $5.00 right?

But that is the wrong question. The right question is "Who gets that money?"
Not you.

Here is where you come in.

Business Plan
1. Lets say your name is Hugh G. Butt

2. Write "Tips for Hugh G. Butt" on a post-it note
3. Find a cup, jar, or tin can, or root through someone's trash on garbage day until you find one. 
4. Stick the post-it note on the side of the cup, jar, or tin can
5. It might help to draw smiley faces or use some sort of clip-art pictures on the can also
6. Go to a restaurant or ice cream parlor
7. Put the can beside the cash register when no one is looking
8. Come back periodically and take the money out of it
9. Get this going at 10 to 20 different places
10. Retire

Related Business Ideas: Name your daughter "Charity" and do something similar. Click here to see how

Business Competition: People who take money out of tip jars when no one is looking

Thursday, January 14, 2010

How to make money by being an Elvis Impersonator

Business Name: Elvis Impersonator Corp.

How it works:
1. Wait around until you are in your upper 40s.
2. While you are waiting you should:
    A. Habitually eat junk food and drink beer for about 30 years until you get fat and your eyes become perpetually bleary.
    B. IMPORTANT: Before you get old and fat: Buy a tight-fitting white and gold cowboy-themed tuxedo.
3. When you have accomplished steps one and two, and all the corollaries of step two
4. Run a Google search for the words "Best Elvis Song." 

5. Learn the words to whichever song comes up first.*
6. Dye your hair black
7. Grow big sideburns
8. Put on the outfit that you bought in step 2B. It probably won't fit too well, but that is the point.
9. Go to a bar
10. Drink just enough alcohol that you will have slurred speech and will stumble when walking, but not so much that you actually fall down. (This is a delicate balance that you should have perfected sometime during step 2A)
11. Good. Now you are ready to be an Elvis Impersonator
12. Sing whatever song you learned in steps 4 and 5.
13. **Keep singing it over and over again until someone pays you**

*Howtomakeadollar has already completed this step for you. The song is "Hound Dog."

**Howtomakeadollar is not quite clear about who pays Elvis Impersonators. Is it tips? The bar owner?? Old ladies??? No one knows. Likewise, we do not know the going rate for Elvis Impersonators either. Personally, I would speculate that under certain circumstances, somebody, somewhere might be willing to pay up to a dollar for this service.

On a related note: Forbes estimates that Elvis Impersonators made $42 million during the 2008 recession. I don't know what that says about the state of western civilization.

Related Business Idea: I think Michael Jackson is a pretty close peer with Elvis. Both were world famous, extremely weird, and died young. In a few years you may be able to dress up really weird and make money at parties by acting like MJ. Howtomakeadollar does not recommend this idea for children's parties.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Borrow a dollar

Looking for a quick way to make a dollar.  I think this is H2MAD's (howtomakeadollar) easiest and quickest idea yet.  Here's the step by step instructions:

1.  Locate person
2.  Ask to borrow a dollar
3.  When they give you a dollar, say thank you and put it in your pocket.

It's that simple.  It takes all of about 30 seconds.  If you end up doing this full time you will be making $120 an hour.  That works out to almost $250,000 a year.  All for "borrowing" a dollar.

This idea works best in front of vending machines.  You will probably have a higher success rate using people you know.  People are a lot more willing to let a friend "borrow" a dollar than some random person they have never met before.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

How to make $310 million in shady international political deals (Not making this one up)

Ok everybody: Greetings, salutations. I hope you are doing well, eating right, and preparing for global warming.

Now listen up. Big things are happening at Howtomakeadollar. We are changing our whole philosophy and throwing down our savings for our best idea yet. Drop all your one dollar ideas, and drop all your ethical grey areas. Quit your job, sell your stuff, and dump your girlfriend. Also, cancel Twitter. It is kind of dumb and will probably be made fun of in a few years, like things from the 1980s.

(You will need Facebook for this idea, so keep that.)

Thats right. We're moving to Nauru. No, Nauru is not a made up Star Trek place. Its the awesomest island paradise in the South Pacific, where everybody has a beachfront, it never snows, and shoes are optional. An island so dominated by fantasticness that they just got paid $50 million to "friend" two new countries.

Nope, not kidding.

Here's how it happened.
For years, Nauru was a tiny, isolated, and poor island nation that survived by exporting fossilized bird poop. Yep fossilized bird brownies. (I swear, everything in this post is true). I don't know what the world has come to. I have no idea who was buying this stuff, or what they were doing with it. My guess is it went like this:

Guy from Nauru: "I have an unpublished copy of the next Harry Potter book in this bag. I'll sell it to you for a dollar. 
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy"A dollar eh?"
Guy from Nauru: "I think thats about 1000 Canadian."
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: "Can I see it first?"
Guy from Nauru: "No."
Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: "Eh. ok."
they exchange cash
Guy from Nauru: "LOL!!!" (runs away)

Unsuspecting Canadian Guy: (opens bag) "Bird poo fossils eh!?" (Shakes fist angrily)

Suffice to say, the fossilized poop industry was not kind to Nauru, and by the late 1990s they had run out of it. Yep, the world bought out all their bird poop fossils. Nauru sank into complete poverty.

However, when your entire national economy is based on selling poop fossils, you learn a lot about salesmanship. In 2003, they found a better way. A much better way.

In 2003 China paid them $130 million to officially "derecognize" Taiwan. This is the equivalent of unfriending someone on Facebook, only at a national level.

You would think that $130 million would be enough to last for a while, especially considering that only like 4 or 5 people live on Nauru.

You'd be wrong. In 2005 an unnamed nation gave them even more money (the total was not disclosed) to "re-recognize" Taiwan. Ok. Now we are up past $260 million. Surely that would be enough money right?
In December 2009 Russia paid $50 million to Nauru for "friending" the nations of South Ossetia and Abkhazia.

Now thats a total of at least $310 million in six years for doing nothing at all.

This is all well and good, but how do I get my hands on that?

Glad you asked. Howtomakeadollar has two recommendations
1. Move to Nauru
2. Build your own island and charge massive amounts of money to friend and unfriend other countries
2a. Take over a small country and do the same.

You probably think I made this up. But I didn't. You can read about it here. its all true.

Monday, January 11, 2010

How To Make Money In The Restroom

1.  Find a public restroom.  Ideally in a restaurant, night club, or Apple store.
2.  Grab all of the paper towels, toilet paper, and soap dispensers.
3.  Stand near the exit, which is usually the same as the entrance.
4.  If you are dressed like a butler, or wearing a tuxedo, this might work better.
5.  When someone enters the restroom and needs one of the items that you've snagged, offer it to them for a low price, such as 35 cents.  Or give it to them but act like you expect a tip.  I'm sure you've encountered people who have expected tips from you before, so you should know what to do.
6.  To enhance your money making opportunity, have some other items ready to offer your "clients", such as warm towels, hand sanitizer, or gummy worms.
7.  If someone gets angry at you for hoarding the toilet paper, flee.  Find another restroon and start over.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Recirculation Specialist (aka Flipping): An Unappreciated Business Model

Flipping as a business model
A recirculation specialist is someone who buys something at a low price, then turns around and sells it at a higher price (Recirculation specialist also sounds really cool).  It can be anything. Sometimes you have to make minor adjustments to it in order to sell it. Other times you can literally just turn around and sell it for more than you originally paid. You usually hear about house flipping. House flipping is time consuming and can be very risky because you are dealing with hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it can also be highly profitable for the same reason.
However, you can recirculate/flip almost anything. Lots of people will sell used household items on Craigslist for a low price. Craigslist operates locally, so the pool of buyers is small. That means that demand will be low, and that means that the price will be low. If you see a good deal on a used item on Craigslist, chances are you will be able to sell it for more on Ebay, because Ebay has a much wider pool of potential buyers. In fact, Craigslist offers a whole category of "free" things. That means that if you can find someone who is willing to pay just one dollar for it, then you've made a profit. Flipping can have very high profit margins, but it involves constantly buying and selling things, and can be very time consuming. Additionally, you have to be very good at finding low prices and knowing how much an item is actually worth. However, this is a decent way to make a living, and I know (and have heard of) several people who make over one hundred thousand per year being a recirculation specialist using Ebay and Craigslist to sell things they find.

Saturday, January 9, 2010

How to Start a Business with a Chainsaw

Business Idea: Remove fallen trees from people's property

You will need:
Cover of darkness
Dark pants and sweatshirt
Pickup truck

Business Plan: 
1. Locate a tree on someone's property
2. Sneak out late at night
3. Saw it down
4. Don't let it fall on you. (If it does fall on you, saw off your legs and army crawl to safety.) 
5. Go to the person's house the next day
6. Tell them that you noticed that they have a downed tree in their yard
7. Offer to cut it up and remove it for a dollar
8. Start up your chainsaw and brandish it menacingly if they don't immediately agree (I am assuming that you brought it with you when you went into their house)
9. Saw up tree
10. Load wood onto your truck (If you don't have a truck, click here to see how to get one)
10. Haul it away
11. Chances are that you didn't think about where to put the wood. In that case, just dump it in someone else' yard later that night.
12. Offer to clean it up the next day.

Friday, January 8, 2010

Make money by having friends

Approximately 47.3% of all businesses started by an individual fail within the first 5 and a half months.  Therefore, if you want your business to succeed, make friends and start a business with them.  Not just any friends, good friends.  You always hear people saying "don't go into business with friends or family."  Just ignore their advice because they don't know what they are talking about and/or they don't have good friends or family.  Just tell them you read on the internet 74% of all businesses started with good friends are 24 to 57% more successful than all other businesses.  

From personal experience 100% of all business ventures I have started by myself have failed.  The problem is I either lose motivation, get bored, and/or just don't have time to do everything by myself.  On the other hand, 100% of all businesses I have started with good friends have succeeded.  So, get good friends, start a business and succeed.  Simple.  

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Rent-Based Businesses

Rent-Based Business Model

Advertising/Renting: You might think that advertising and renting are totally different concepts, but I think they are quite similar. I am a landlord. I spent a ton of money up front and bought an apartment building. As long as I make more in rental income than my monthly mortgage, I can make a profit. Lots of businesses work this way. Buy a building, then rent it out to others. As long as the renters pay more than the regular costs of ownership, you make money. The risk is that you can't find renters.

Advertising is similar. Lets say you buy a billboard on the highway. All you have to do is find a "renter" who is willing to pay money to post their ad on your sign. You are essentially renting it to others. Or TV. If you own a TV station you can show whatever programs you want. If you can find people who will pay money to use some of your television time for an ad, then you can make money. If you can't find enough advertisers, you lose. Thats why I think advertising and renting are the same thing. The only difference is what your people do with the space they rent from you.

The Internet can also be rented. Think about Google. All Google is is a massive search engine that rents space to advertisers. Advertisers pick a word that they want to rent, and everytime someone searches for that word, their ad appears. Its not a building, its not a billboard, and its not a television station, but its the same principle. As long as enough tenants are willing to pay for a spot, you make money. The key is to keep your space well maintained. If my building falls apart, no one will rent it. If Google gets outdated, no one will advertise on it.

If you own something, chances are it can be rented. Many people rent out advertising space on their cars. Its called "Car Wrapping." Lots of agencies will pay you decent money to drive around for a month with a big corporate logo on your car. You can't make a living this way, but you may be able to make $200/month.

A very popular way to make money on the internet is advertising. All you have to do is create a website that people visit often. If enough people visit your site and click on an ad, you can make money. A second way to do this is called "Affiliate marketing." In affiliate marketing, you create the ad yourself. If you have a blog that gets (lets say) 1000 visitors per day, you can offer to write up a blog post that  endorses a certain product or company. If you do this very often, you will probably lose your regular internet traffic, but if you do it once a month you should be able to keep your regular readers while also making decent money.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Service Oriented Businesses

This blog post will be part of a series of posts which describe various common business models.

Service Businesses: This is a huge category so I'm going to generalize a lot. Basically, you provide a service and someone pays you for it. One year when I was in college I paid my December rent at the beginning of the month and had only $22 left in the bank. That meant I had no means of buying Christmas presents for anyone, and no means of even driving home for Christmas because my car was out of gas. $22 meant I would barely have enough to eat for the month. But one thing I did have was a lot of snow. I found a snow shovel for 9.99, and walked all over town looking for driveways that were still snowed in. On that very day I made over $100.00. That was good money, but it still left me pretty cheap on Christmas gifts, so I prayed for more snow. Yeah, I actually did pray about it.
I got two more storms in the next two weeks, skipped a few classes, and made a lot more. My first day of shoveling I had to walk all over the place looking for driveways that were not shoveled. I was friendly with my customers and asked if I could come back next time it snowed. I did a thorough shoveling job, and they told me to come back. This saved me several hours of hunting for clients the second time it snowed. Thats how service businesses work. You get paid for providing a service. Do a good job and be a friendly person, and you will get easy repeat business. I still have that shovel. A ten dollar investment earned me several hundred.

I knew a 19 year old who started a lawn-mowing business when he was 14. By the time he was 16 he had bought three brand new riding mowers and had a list of over 100 clients. He hired out his friends and made over $40,000 for himself each summer from when he was 17 through 19. Last I heard he was out of high school and was planning to into a year-round business of mowing, leaf raking, snow shoveling, and whatever else he can get into. If you work hard you can get a long list of clients quickly. You don't need a sophisticated plan and a business degree.

The service model is a pretty inexpensive way to start a business. All you need is your own skills and maybe a few basic tools. Its a good way to make some money that you can use to either reinvest in your business, or use to start a different one that requires more up front capital.

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

More Ways to Make Money from Swine Flu

Ok everybody. The last Swine Flu post seems to have gone over pretty well, so here is a special bonus idea for our loyal reader.

Business Idea: "Non-Swine Flu Pork"
How the Business Works
1. Get on NPR.
2. Break a story in which you make unsubstantiated claims that all pork contains Swine Flu. Speak in a soft, clear, and disinterested tone about how the meat industry has kept this a secret. Refer to the meat industry as "Big Pork."
3. Suddenly pork and ham will become extremely inexpensive
4. Buy as much of it as you can afford
5. Slap a label on it that says "Now with 0% Swine Flu!"
6. Sell it to a hippie food store for three times what you bought it for.

the end

How to Make $112.50 with a Tow Truck

Business Name: Predatory Towing Co.

How the Business Works:
1. Get a tow truck. You can do this in one of two ways:
      A. Buy one using conventional, legal means
      B. Call up a towing company and have them tow a tow truck away from a different towing company and drop it off at your house
2. Good. Now you have a tow truck
3. Drive around looking for a nice car
4. Follow it until it parks
5. Wait for the owner to get out and walk away
6. If the owner sees you idling by his driveway and asks what you are doing, reply that you are "Just looking." This works at retail stores, so there is no reason it shouldn't work here.
7. Tow car away
8. Here you have a choice to take your business in one of two directions:
    A. Sell the car.
    B. Let the owner have it back, but tell him it was parked illegally and charge a towing fee of $112.50
9. Repeat

Personal Note: From my observations, this business model seems to be working very well in Beverly, Massachusetts.

Monday, January 4, 2010

Make money throwing away Christmas trees (with options to GO GREEN!)

So a couple of weeks ago you bought a real Christmas tree...  how festive, how Chrismissy.  Let me be the first to thank you for 1) celebrating Christmas, 2) stimulating the economy, and 3) cutting down a tree (our greatest renewable resource).  Now that Christmas is done, your tree is dead, and all of the presents are opened and forgotten.... its time to take out the tree!  Needles, needles everywhere!  No one (at least that I know of) likes to take out their Christmas tree.  Thus, a good business opportunity for you.  People like to pay others money to do things they don't want to do.

Here is the step by step business plan:
1)knock on doors
2)find someone that is home
3)convince them they need you to take out their Christmas tree (if they're not convinced, do it anyway, they'll appreciate it and pay you big bucks)
4)take out tree
5)throw tree away
5a) going green option: save it for next year and sell it to some sucker who will feel good about reusing a poor murdered Christmas tree.  He will probably also buy your used Christmas wrapping paper (so don't forget to save it too).
6)vacuum up needles
6a) going green option: save needles and sell them to the same guy who bought the tree in step 5a
7)get paid
8)reinvest your money in your next $1 idea

This is a great business opportunity for townhouse and condo developments.  People don't really like walking down 3 flights of stairs with a dead Christmas tree.  Click here or here for other great business opportunities geared to condo and townhouse developments.

Business risks: atheists who hate Christmas, Barack Obama (Obama hates Christmas too) and the crazy old lady who keeps her tree up all year.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

How to make money from your blog

Now that you have started a blog and promoted your blog... it is time to monetize your blog!  This site is all about how to make a dollar, so monetizing your blog is a great way to make a dollar.  One way to make money from your blog is to use Google's AdSense.    All you have to do is go to the AdSense website and sign up.  You don't need a bank account or credit card information.  All you need is a name, address, and blog.  So hopefully your parents gave you a name and you are not homeless.  When you earn at least $10 they will send you a check.

After you sign up and Google approves your account (may take up to a week) and you finalize the set up, Google sponsored advertisements will begin to appear on your account.  You may notice advertisements above and below this blog and on the side below our twitter gadget.  The advertisements are usually somehow connected to what you blog about.  When people click on these advertisements you get money.  Pretty simple.  When you sign up for AdSense you agree not to click on your own advertisements.  So if you don't want to end up in the Ethical Grey area of our blog, don't click on your own advertisements.  I'm pretty sure it gives you money only for "unique visitors."  So even if you get someone to click on your advertisements over and over, it will only pay you for the first time they click on it.  Now that you have advertisements on your blog you have even more incentive to generate traffic. So go start a blog and make some money.  Its free!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Make Money Off Swine Flu

A good way to make money is to take advantage of things that people are afraid of. Sell something that claims to eliminate or nullify the threat, and people will buy it.

Right now there are two things that everyone in the world is terrified of: Kimbo Slice, and Swine Flu. Unfortunately, Howtomakeadollar has not yet discovered an effective way of protecting people from Kimbo Slice, nor is it likely that anyone ever will. 

As for Swine Flu, we have two suggestions.

Sell "Vaccines"
1. Get a bunch of syringes from someone at craigslist. (Thats where I get all of mine)
2. Fill them up with a translucent liquid substance
3. Tell people it is a vaccine. You can even write: "Vaccine" on the side of the syringe with a Sharpie.
4. Tell people to form a line

5. Charge $100 per shot

Reverse Sponsorship
Many businesses will pay money to get their name on an event. For example, in college football, the Fiesta Bowl is called the "Tostitos Fiesta Bowl." I have no idea how much the Frito-Lay company pays to get their Tostitos brand on this game, but its probably at least a dollar, which we consider to be a lot. This kind of thing is very common.  

There is no reason this can't be done in reverse. Tostitos wants its name on the Fiesta Bowl, but I bet they don't want their name on Swine Flu. This is where you come in.

Here's how the business works
1. File a patent for Swine Flu. I'm about 50% sure that you can do this by claiming to have been the first person to catch it.
2. Good, now you own all rights to swine flu
3. Change its name to "The Tostitos Swine Flu," or "Tostitos Presents: Swine Flu."

4. Call all the news networks and tell them that Tostitos is now sponsoring Swine Flu.
5. Charge the Tostitos people a dollar to get their name taken off it.
6. Repeat steps 3-5 with a different company, such as Wal-Mart.

If you have any suggestions for protecting people from Kimbo Slice, please use the comment section below.

Friday, January 1, 2010

How to Start a Business in 2010

I personally dare you to start a business this year. I dare you. Read on for two good ideas and one extremely important rule.

Warning: This blog post is not funny. It does not contain any jokes or humorous anecdotes. It is actually quite boring and very long. However, it contains the most important rule of starting a business, and provides two good business ideas. One that I've tried, another that I haven't.

How to start a business in 2010

The Rule: The best way to start a business is to start with as little risk as possible. Thats the most important rule. If you have a lot of money already, you probably don't need to be reading a blog about how to make a dollar. If you are a normal person who is afraid of the economy and wants to get started on a side business, then this is for you. The key, again, is to risk as little as possible at first. That's the most important rule. Don't risk anything at first. This gives you the freedom to try lots of ideas without the possibility of losing.

Thats because people who are just starting out are prone to making mistakes. Better that the mistake not cost you very much.

Idea 1: Snow Shoveling
When I was in college I was out of money. Completely out. All I had was a willingness to make money, and a little bit of time. I also had snow. So I found a snow shovel for $9.99 (which I needed anyway) and walked around town (my car was out of gas, and I had no more money after buying the shovel) looking for driveways that needed to be shoveled. I made over $100 that day. I risked $10, and made $90 in profit. I was happy with that, and I did it again the next two times it snowed. I made good money and then quit. Thats one way to do it.

But that was when I was in college. I had no intention of starting an actual business back then, so I just kept the money and did whatever I wanted with it.

Lets say you want to actually start this as a business and make it work long-term. Well, then you don't want to just keep the money. You want to reinvest it. Think about it. You now have $100.00. What can you do with $100 to help promote your business? Well, you can make an ad on a sheet of paper and make about 100 copies of it for about $20.00. and you can make about 100 business cards for another $10. Then you can go stick the ad in people's doorways and leave your card with anyone you bump into. Be friendly, and start in the same neighborhood that you've already worked. This way you can tell people that you already shoveled out their neighbors, and they will trust you more. Don't spend all $100 on advertising. You don't know how effective it will be, and you don't want to lose all of it. Again: don't risk any more than you have to.

Now you've advertised to 100 new potential customers for only about $30.00. Keep the other $70 in case you need to try a different advertising approach, or save it for the eventual purchase of a snow blower or plow.

Every penny that you earn should either be spent on expanding your business or should be saved for the purpose of buying better equipment in the future. I made $100 in one day, starting from nothing. No list of clients, no advertising. Nothing. I spent more time trying to find customers that actually shoveling. But after the first day I had a list of clients, and I didn't need to walk all over town again.

If you can get five or six snowstorms in your region, then you should easily make enough to buy a snow blower, which will allow you to work twice as fast. This in turn, will allow you to expand into new neighborhoods and eventually, to buy a plow. All of this with no money out of your pocket.

The point is to only spend money that you have already earned. Do not spend your own personal savings, or your paycheck from your regular job. Do not go into debt under any circumstances. Only expand your business when it has already earned enough to pay for the expansion in cash. This way you can never lose.

Shoveling is a seasonal job that can only be done by people who are able to work outside in the cold for a long time. What about an easier, year-round job?

Idea 2: How about baking cookies?
Here's how I would do it:
1. Get a big cookie mix from Costco or Sams or some place like that. Cost: $10
2. Get a silver dollar coin Cost: $24 (silver "dollars" are actually worth about $24)
3. Make ten batches of ten cookies, and mix the silver dollar into one of the cookies. (wash it first)
4. Put them in airtight ziplock freezer bags (or any other airtight contraption that will keep them from getting stale) Cost: $2
Total Cost: $36.00
Sell the homemade cookies on Ebay, and explain that there are ten batches, one of which contains a $24 piece of silver. Start bids at $10.00 each.

Assuming you can sell all ten batches, you will make a $64.00 profit. Many people will be willing to pay $10 for the cookies because at the very least they will still get a batch of homemade cookies. They don't risk much, so they won't mind trying it. It shouldn't take you more than an hour and half to make 100 cookies.

If you can do this once a week, you'll make $3,328 in a year. Obviously you could do this with any kind of prize. I think a silver dollar would work because they are small, valuable, and would not be damaged by being baked into a cookie. However, you could use just about anything that meets these criteria.

Invest your earnings back into your company and try to expand into other baking-related markets, or save your earnings and use them to start a completely different business that has a higher entry cost. Again: Don't risk anything that your business has not already earned.

The slogan of this blog is "Millions of ways to make a dollar." We believe that your first business idea probably won't make you a millionaire, and it probably won't even replace your day job. However, an extra stream of income every month can really add up, and can give you a little bit more leeway if your company cuts wages, or if your taxes go up. If you keep working at it, and if you try lots of ideas, you may stumble on one that can grow into something much bigger.

Throughout this year we will be posting various business ideas to help inspire you and to help you think creatively. Many of them will probably be goofy, and we can't promise that they will all work, but if you can just make one dollar, we will consider it a success.
I personally dare you to try a business in 2010. If you follow the rule in this post you won't have anything at risk. Give it a try. If you don't risk anything then you can't lose, so there is no reason not to try. 

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...