Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Make Money by Being Mildly Good at Football

We've been running a few blogs lately about making money by becoming a professional athlete in a team sport. Team sports allow mediocre players to develop niche skills that are necessary at specific situations during a game. You don't have to have a lot of talent at the sport if you simply practice and perfect a single niche skill.  NFL teams have 53 men on their rosters, so there are plenty of role players who are only there for specific plays. Most football players are colossal freakshows who weigh 300 pounds and can run faster than your car. Most ordinary people would not be able to compete in the NFL. However, the role players who sit the bench for most of the game are relatively normal people who have simply developed one skill, and are willing to occasionally get trampled by large angry men.

1. Kicker. Kickers in the NFL are notoriously skinny and unathletic. Their only job is to kick the football really hard. If you practice this enough starting in your teens, you should be able to get good at it. Most teams use the same kicker for kicking field goals as they use for kickoffs, so if you can kick accurately, you will be worth a lot more. Again, the only thing between you and the NFL is a lot of practice as a kicker. Accuracy is not hard if you practice enough. This job occasionally requires you to get flattened and trampled by several large angry men who only know how to chase footballs and will use the shortest path to the football, even if  especially if it involves trampling on you.

2. Punter. The punter has to punt. Thats it. This job occasionally requires you to get flattened by several large angry men who don't know where the ball is, but do know that you had it last.

3. Longsnapper. This job is for someone who is able to "hike" the ball accurately to a distance of 15 yards. This job ALWAYS requires you to be trampled and beaten by enormous angry men for being in the way.

4. Holder. This job requires you to catch a hiked ball, put it on your toe, and hold it there with your finger. It occasionally requires you to get kicked in the hand really hard by the kicker, and frequently requires you to get flattened by a bunch of large angry men.

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