China's trash island

So, it looks like China has taken our advice and decided to make their very own Trash Island.  Howtomakeadollar recommended making a trash island several months ago.  You can read the blog here.  It appears that from all of the storms and rain (caused by global warming) has been causing a large amount of trash and debris to collect at The Gorges Dam.  The thousands of tons of garbage are so thick that you can walk on them.

China has taken our idea!  We will be contacting our lawyers to sue them.  We've heard they have a lot of money.  We will let you know how much we get.

You can see the yahoo article about the Chinese Rip Off Our Idea Trash Island here.

How to make money on Fourth of July

HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY!!!!

Fourth of July is a time to celebrate our countries independence... but most importantly, like all other holidays, it is a great time to make money!

Howtomakeadollar has determined taking advantage of peoples emotions is a great way to make money.  To take it a step further, an even better way to make money is to take advantage of children's emotions.

Step by step plan for making money on Fourth of July by taking advantage of children's emotions:
1.  Celebrate 4th of July in the United States*,**,***

2.  Go to a place where there is a large group of people and fireworks

3.  Find a group of kids playing with sparklers

4.  Inform the happy children that the sparklers they are using are a fire hazard that causes over 170 deaths per year (completely made up).  Ask them if they are okay with knowingly contributing to these deaths.

5.  Inform the children that sparklers contain potassium nitrate, dextrin, sulfur, and charcoal all known components that are scientifically proven to contribute to global warming.  Ask them if they like to make mother earth cry.  Also ask them if they are okay with killing all of the polar bears in the world.  Also ask them if they are okay with the fact that if they continue to burn their sparklers every fourth of July the earth will be destroyed in exactly 7.5 years.

6.  Inform the children that the fumes from the sparklers is the leading cause of lung cancer.  Ask them if they are okay with slowly killing everyone around them.

7.  Continue to tell the children how dangerous, irresponsible, and harmful to the environment their sparklers are.  Continue this process until at least 63% of the children are in tears.

8.  At this point tell the children you are are a member of EAACUS (Ethical Adults Against Children Using Sparklers)**** and you need to confiscate the remaining sparklers and they must pay the $.50 sparkler reform tax for each sparkler they have burned.

9.  Most likely all of the children will run to their parents, get all of the extra sparklers and money and hurry back to give them to you.

10.  Thank the children for doing the right thing and assure them their grandchildren will thank them for making the right decision.

11.  Take the sparklers to the other side of the large group of people celebrating their independence and sell the sparklers to a group of underprivileged-non-sparkler-wielding children.

*The plan can be carried out in other countries on other days besides 4th of July, but may not be as  profitable. 

**4th of July may not be celebrated anymore in a couple of years, so take advantage of it while you can. 

***Once 4th of July is outlawed you can adapt the plan in the UK to Guy Fawks Night on November 5th

****Along with our Ride Shotgun for Life cards, howtomakeadollar sells EAACUS cards.  Having an EAACUS card will definitely make your story more believable.

Superman laptop sleeve protector

Howtomakeadollar's hottest item so far has been our custom laptop sleeve protectors.  It has been a smashing success.  We recently had an order for a 15 inch laptop protector from someone on the other side of the country.  We created a beautiful superman laptop sleeve protector for them.  We are still waiting on the rave reviews to come in.

Our profit margin still is not very high... considering it cost us $3 to ship the laptop sleeve protector, $2 for supplies, $8 for the tshirt, and 3 hours of labor.  We sold it for $19.99... so that works out to about ~$2 an hour.  But hey... PROFIT IS PROFIT!  We are working on streamlining our process and cutting back on costs.  We saved money on this laptop by going green!  

We shipped the item by reducing, reusing and recycling... well actually just reusing.  We used an old christmas box to ship the item.  This saved us about $2... or essentially 50% of our profit per hour of work.

  

If you would like to order your own... send us an email letting us know what kind and what size you want.  Since superman seems to be our biggest hit so far... here is another option we have for a superman  laptop sleeve protector...

We have an existing order for an ipad custom sleeve protector.  We will update you on the progress.  So order your own laptop sleeve protector or your own ipad sleeve protector today!

Make money by "Helping" people not litter

It is a well known fact that people litter.  It is also a well known fact that it is illegal to litter.  Unfortunately in the United States, people tend to get upset if the government actually enforces laws.  So often times, the government just decides its not worth enforcing laws.  One of these laws is littering.  When I refer to littering, I'm not talking about throwing trash-bags-full-of-garbage-out-of-your-sunroof-going-down-the-highway type of litter... just the little things littering.  i.e. cigarette butts out the window, straw wrappers on the floor, toothpicks from free samples at the food court, etc.  This lack of government intervention/ enforcement of an existing law, is a great money making opportunity.

The key to making money off of people littering is to invoke martial law.  When you see someone look around to see if anyone is looking, inconspicuously drop the tooth pick from their free sample on the floor and pretend like nothing happened, and continue on with you life... this is when you take action.

Step by step plan:
1) Yell at the top of your lungs "I am a U.S. citizen invoking martial law against the combatant militants in our midst."  You must say it word for word, and really loud so everyone within 50 feet can hear you.  If you do not do this it will not count and then you will just look silly.

2) Tackle the person who has littered.

3) Shove their face in their litter (note: this can also be applied to people who do not pick up their dog poop)

4) Tell them you are going to incarcerate them for breaking the law

5) After they start crying and are repentant... tell them they have to give you at least $1 and you will let them go.  If they do not have any cash... get their email address so you can send them a paypal invoice.  Note: if the person is an illegal immigrant and are afraid of deportation... you can usually get much more than $1.

6) Take money, make them pick up their trash and eat it.  Video tape them eating their trash.  Make money putting the video on youtube.

7) If you do not hold the litterer accountable... you are guilty for littering as well and run the risk of having someone invoke Martial Law against you.

This must be done... or Mother Earth will cry and all of the global warming and Al Gore "haters" will win.

How to Make Money In the Arctic

"The People of the Land Beyond the Land Beyond"

The Winter Olympics are upon us, giving us a perfect opportunity to point out something unique about Canada.  I never knew this before and I think there's a significant reason for that, but more on that later.

Alert, Nunavut in Canada is the northernmost settlement with permanent inhabitants in the world.  It's gently nestled within the arctic circle on Ellesmere island next to Greenland.  Despite being very cold and covered in snow 10 months of the year, the climate is actually quite dry, averaging only 6 inches of total precipitation per year.  There are 5 months of total sunlight and 5 months of total darkness.  The only time the temperature is above freezing is during their 2 month summer season when it reaches all the way into the upper 30s.  Downright balmy.  The place is so charming that two of the most significant events in its history were catastrophic plane crashes.

This is definitely not one of the most inhabitable places in the world, but yet, at last count, up to 5 people may actually permanently reside in Alert.  There are many temporary inhabitants of the frigid hamlet due to the presence of the Canadian Forces Station Alert facility, a weather station, and an airport, which is presumably the only way to get there.  Unless you ride a moose by the light of the aurora.  Why, then, does anyone choose to live there?  To man the weather station?  I don't think you need a permanent weather station to know that it's going to be yet another cold, dark day (unless of course it's the half of the year with total, relentless, blinding sunlight).  Something just doesn't quite add up.  Which brings me to my earlier suspicion of why I never heard of this place before.  My guess is that the residents have discovered, through sophisticated weather monitoring (and with a little help from Al Gore), that the ice caps are going to melt sometime within their lifetimes, transforming the icy outpost of Alert into a pleasant, tropical paradise.  They're just claiming their beachfront property now.  Luckily, we here at howtomakeadollar have discovered their secret and are sharing it with you, dear loyal reader, so you can be one of the few, lucky opportunists to claim a tract of land in one of the remotest parts of the earth that will eventually be worth millions.  That is, of course, assuming that you can stand to live among muskoxen, caribou, and Canadians, and are resilient to frostbite, depression, and insomnia (24 hour sunlight can be excruciating).  On the plus side, I bet baby seal tastes pretty good.  And it'll all be worth it in the end.  There may be easier ways to make money than this, but I doubt it.

Many Ways to Make Money in Alaska

Howtomakeadollar is planning to expand its readership one state at a time. Alaska, you are first. Alabama, you are next. (We are going in semi-alphabetical order) 


Idea 1: Make Millions in Alaska by Drilling for Oil
1. Go to Alaska
2. Invest millions of dollars in geological testing
3. Thats it. Stop there.
This idea stops here. A bunch of people who have never been to Alaska* say you aren't allowed to drill for oil there because of the polar bears. Sorry. I recommend you go to Venezuela or Iran or someplace more friendly.

*John McCain was adamantly opposed to Alaskan Oil drilling. Sarah Palin was for it. Who was the political mastermind behind this match-up?... I suspect no one.

New idea: 
Make millions in Alaska by hugging Polar Bears
1. Go to Alaska
2. Find a polar bear
3. Wait for it to die
4. Take a picture of it
5. Put the picture on the internet and say an oil person killed it with his greedy smile
6. Presumably someone will pay you for this.*
*phone call from some hippie
Hello. Yes, What?? You guys do this for free!! What! Are you serious?? Because you love the Earth? You smell like tundra. Don't call me again.

**

7. Nevermind... I don't think there are any good ways to make money in Alaska

Unless...

New Idea: Make Millions in Alaska by Building Large Bridges that Connect Uninhabited Islands With One Another.


Yep, this one should work, no polar bears in the way.
Here is how it works:
1. Find the most remote region of Alaska that you can.
2. Now, make up an island that is somewhere near this remote area
3. Tell everyone that this made up island is really important for U.S. interests
4. Get paid like $300 million for building a bridge to it.
5. Sarah Palin becomes governor
6. Sarah Palin declares herself a "maverick" and shortly thereafter resigns as governor

**howtomakeadollar is curious what kind of animal this polar bear is eating. It is our belief that it is a walrus, but it really could be anything. Does anyone from Alaska have any insight on this?

the end

Make money by not showering

Easy way to make a lot of cash and save money and the environment by not showering!

Business plan:
1) Stop taking showers
2) Stop wearing deodorant
3) Stop brushing your teeth
4) Repeat steps 1 through 3 for at least 10 days
5) Become a really close talker with all of your coworkers
6) When people start complaining about your stench tell them it will cost them $1each for you to start showering again
7) Start showering again and collect money
8) When money stops flowing in from your coworkers repeat steps 1 through 7 (for step 4 increase duration of filth to 20 days.

Note: this may prohibit you from getting a promotion... so make sure you work the numbers to figure out which one will make you more: a raise or money from each of your coworkers everyday for the rest of your career.

Make money throwing away Christmas trees (with options to GO GREEN!)

So a couple of weeks ago you bought a real Christmas tree...  how festive, how Chrismissy.  Let me be the first to thank you for 1) celebrating Christmas, 2) stimulating the economy, and 3) cutting down a tree (our greatest renewable resource).  Now that Christmas is done, your tree is dead, and all of the presents are opened and forgotten.... its time to take out the tree!  Needles, needles everywhere!  No one (at least that I know of) likes to take out their Christmas tree.  Thus, a good business opportunity for you.  People like to pay others money to do things they don't want to do.

Here is the step by step business plan:
1)knock on doors
2)find someone that is home
3)convince them they need you to take out their Christmas tree (if they're not convinced, do it anyway, they'll appreciate it and pay you big bucks)
4)take out tree
5)throw tree away
5a) going green option: save it for next year and sell it to some sucker who will feel good about reusing a poor murdered Christmas tree.  He will probably also buy your used Christmas wrapping paper (so don't forget to save it too).
6)vacuum up needles
6a) going green option: save needles and sell them to the same guy who bought the tree in step 5a
7)get paid
8)reinvest your money in your next $1 idea

This is a great business opportunity for townhouse and condo developments.  People don't really like walking down 3 flights of stairs with a dead Christmas tree.  Click here or here for other great business opportunities geared to condo and townhouse developments.

Business risks: atheists who hate Christmas, Barack Obama (Obama hates Christmas too) and the crazy old lady who keeps her tree up all year.

Make money cleaning snow off of cars

Business Idea: Get snow off of peoples cars.

Business Description: No one (at least that I know of) likes to go out in the freezing weather and clean off snow from their car.  Especially when you are dressed up for work to give your presentation to the CEO and are already running late.   Although you wouldn't be late if you followed our how to get promoted blog.  With this business, you can make money cleaning off other peoples cars when it snows.

Business Resources: Big truck full of hot water, ShamWow

Step-by-Step Business Plan:
1. Wait for snow
2. Fill up your water truck with hot water (if you don't have a water truck and/or can't find one to get for free on craigslist you can use a large bucket full of hot water)
3. Go to apartment or townhouse complex. 
4. Pour hot water all over the cars to melt the snow and ice
5. Get out ShamWow
6. Dry car with ShamWow
7. Place bill under windshield wiper (everyone loves to get things placed under their windshield wipers)
8. Alternatively, you could work out a deal with the HOA and just have them pay you.  This will probably mitigate the risk of not getting paid.

Feasibility Quotient: 97

Business Risks: Global Warming

Business Competitors: Crazy lady who goes outside with a broom and wipes off her car every 30 minutes

Sell Snow

With global warming coming upon us so fast... we need to enjoy the MASSIVE amounts of snow we are getting these days.  According to Al Gore, all snow and ice in the entire world is going to be gone in the next 4 to 6 years!  So, for the next 4 to 6 years, collect snow.  Put it into a freezer in a fancy container with the date on it.  Then in 50 years from now when no one even knows what snow is; sell it!  All you need is to live in a place that gets snow, a container, a pair of gloves and have a big freezer.

Start a Blog

It seems like everybody is making money off the internet these days.  How can you too??? Start a blog!  All you need is a catchy name and something to write about.  Top notch blogs usually deal with something to do with the following: politics, religion, money, how to make money, hobbies, and families. 

If you have a controversial political or religious view, blog about it.  If you think global warming is a good thing that sould be supported... blog about it (Support The Warmth).  If you know how people can make tons of money from investing in biotechnology companies on the stock market... blog about it (Biotechdaytrader).  But, make sure you blog.  If there is nothing for people to read about, they won't come to your site (it can get a little boring reading the same post over and over).  Its easy to start a blog, but it does take some work to stay motivated.

Here's how to do it: go to http://www.blogger.com/ come up with a catchy name (that has not already been taken), sign up, and blog.  Simple as that.  Then simply get thousands of people to visit your blog everyday and have companies pay you for everytime your blog is viewed.  Its free to start and you have the potential to make millions!