Stolen Idea Not Very Good Anyway

A while back Howtomakeadollar rocked the insurance market with extremely low priced supernova insurance for pets. Our policies are still available, and cover the next 5 billion years, so its not too late to buy your policy now.

Well, when you have a great idea, and when the market reacts favorably to it, its inevitable that copycats will come along and try to make a buck off your original idea by tweaking it a little bit. Recently we found out about an insurance company that claims to take care of your pets if you are a Christian, and the rapture happens, and you go to heaven all of a sudden and there is nobody left to take care of your pets. You can read about this company at eternalearthbound.com. To the best of my knowledge it is a real company.

Its real, but its not spectacular. The company claims that in the event of the rapture, an atheist will come along and grab your cat and dog and go take care of them for you, so you can live in eternal peace and joy in heaven without worrying about Muffy and Scruffy back home, while planet Earth rapidly descends into pestilence, war, famine, and death. Policies cost $110 and expire after 10 years.

I'm sure* there are some people who think this is a great deal, and have already ran out and purchased a bunch of policies.

*By "sure" I mean that it is theoretically possible that in some hypothetical situation, under the right circumstances, with enough alcohol, and having recently read the book of Ezekiel, that a person might come under the impression that this is a worthy investment of their $110.


But you need to think about this before you buy it. First, atheists don't believe the rapture is ever going to happen in the first place. So they are collecting your $110 without any plans to actually honor their commitment. Secondly, atheists hate animals. I know, the website says all the atheists are "animal lovers." But thats not true. Really, its not.

The Soviet Union was the most atheistic society that ever existed on a wide scale. So its a good test tube for how atheists actually behave when left to themselves without any transcendent moral guidelines. Most estimates show that at least 30 million people were killed without a trial in the Soviet Union. Even more, up to 100 million, were sent to frozen work camps in Siberia without a trial, where they dug holes in the tundra all day, and filled them in the next day.

How do you think their pets fared during this time? Not too good. Many people believe there were over one million stray, starving dogs roaming Moscow limping and covered in fleas during this time. Atheism is hard on animals, just like it is on people. After all, if there is no God, everything is permitted. Are those the people you want to pay money to take care of your pets?

Now, what about happy, friendly, animal loving atheists in the USA? They don't act like the Soviets do they? Well, no, not now they don't, but right now they are surrounded by a world that doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior. Put them in a society by themselves, and you get the Soviets. And wait until the tribulation starts, and massive epidemics spread around the world, followed by famine and war. Do you think an atheist is going to feel like honoring an old commitment to rescue your pet? -- A commitment he never believed he would have to honor in the first place? Commitments like that are rarely honored during good times. Do you think the atheists are going to make an effort to feed your cat in the midst of a worldwide famine?

Breaking News: Sun Fails to Explode! Supernova Insurance Prices Hit Bottom

A few days ago scientists were convinced that the sun was about to erupt and completely annihilate the solar system. The Howtomakeadollar Insurance Group saw this as a golden opportunity to sell supernova pet insurance, which has been one of our lesser known insurance lines for a long time. As with supernova scares of the past, the market reacted very favorably to our press release (read it here).

However, it seems that the sun did not explode, and our solar system was not instantly sublimated into a dusty interstellar nebulum. For this reason, Howtomakeadollar forecasts a relatively quiet market for the next several billion years until the next supernova scare flares up. However, scientists unanimously believe that the sun will someday explode. For this reason we plan to continue offering our Supernova Pet Insurance policies to any interested parties at a low rate.

This policy will guarantee your pet's comfort, long term care, and survival in the event of a supernova. The policy will allow you to rest peacefully, knowing that even if you, your planet, and your solar system are decimated by a supernova, your dear pet Muffy will be provided with food, water, and, most importantly, Love for the duration of her life.
Supernova Pet Insurance prices have fallen through the floor. Now is the best time to ensure that your pet will be safe even if you die in a fiery galactic explosion.

Policies are $1 per pet.

Your card will look like this, with your pet's name

Who will take care of your pet when the sun explodes?

Who Will Take Care of Your Pets When the Sun Explodes?

Who will take care of your pets when the sun explodes?

You may have heard that scientists fully expect the sun to explode sometime later this evening or tomorrow. This is true. Howtomakeadollar is not lying. Read about here.

Ok, so now that you have read about it and have come to grips with this Tragic New Reality, you are no doubt trying to get your priorities straightened out for the next few hours. Do you have a lot of errands to run? Are you in the middle of some important stuff that can't wait? Maybe you were hoping to make some last minute fantasy baseball trades? If so, then you don't really have time to worry about the fate of your pets during the Supernova of 2010 do you?

A supernova is coming. Are your pets prepared?

Fortunately Howtomakeadollar offers Supernova Pet Insurance. If you are vaporized into a puff of carbon by a supernova, or are otherwise left incapacitated by a supernova, Howtomakeadollar will see to it that your pets are well fed and watered as they live out their final days on the wisps of smoke emitted by the annihilation of the solar system as it darkens, cools and slowly collects itself into an interstellar gas cloud.

You probably think that such a policy would cost billions of dollars, but Supernova Pet Insurance doesn't have to be expensive. For a limited time Howtomakeadollar is issuing Supernova Pet Insurance for $1.00 per pet. This is an absolute steal. Will you do that for your pet? Think about how Muffy will feel when she is blinded by a searing solar flare an instant before the entire world catches on fire and is condensed into a ball of metallic gasses. Without Supernova Pet Insurance she will feel frightened, hopeless, and alone.

For $1 you can get an official Howtomakeadollar Supernova Pet Insurance Policy. Your policy will guarantee your pet's safety and survival in the event of a supernova.

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE: SUN FAILS TO EXPLODE! PETS SAVED! PRICES SLASHED