Howtomakeadollar wants to celebrate Memorial Day today with all of our readers. So in honor of this holiday, we are publishing a blog about weather forecasting.
One of the bragging points at the college I attended was that one quarter of all weather forecasters in the U.S. had graduated from my school. This stat, if true, is pretty impressive on its face. However, if you think about it, you will come to realize that weather forecasting is not exactly a difficult job, and takes only about an hour a day to do, so you probably don't need to go around town rodomontading about it too much, and it doesn't work too well as a pick-up line either. The interesting thing about weather forecasters is that I'm pretty sure they make like $5 million per year. I'm not going to bother verifying any of this info, but you can take my word for it.
OK, I'll take your word for it because this seems like an informative and reliable website. How can I learn to predict the weather and make millions?
Easy. Investigative journalists at Howtomakeadollar have spent years infiltrating the best meteorology programs in the world, and have provided a collection of phrases that you can use in order to sound like an expert weather forecaster and bring in millions.
"Partly cloudy:" This is a phrase you can use if you don't really have any idea what is going on with the weather. It means that there will be some clouds in the sky sometimes, and sometimes not. You can safely predict this every day of the year, and you should only use the other phrases below if you feel like you are getting in a rut.
"Chance of rain:" This is a phrase you can use if you think it might rain, or might not. You can say it every few days just to keep things interesting.
"Scattered showers:" You can use the phrase in place of "Chance of rain" whenever you want. It means that you think it might rain, but you don't know when or where.
"Hot:" Use this in the summer time, or whenever global warming starts*
"Cold:" Use in winter
"Really Hot:" Use in Mexico
*I thought for sure global warming had started last Wednesday, but then it got cool again, so no go. Check this site often for up-to-the-minute updates on when global warming starts.
Current forecast: [one minute ago] Chance of Global Warming