Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Make money promoting your blog in class

Now that you have started your own blog and have a paypal account, you are ready to promote your blog. If you do not have a blog or a paypal account, you should definitely start one.  There are gazillions* of ways to promote your blog, but one good way to do it, that is legal, is to promote your blog in class.

Step by step business plan for promoting your blog legally in class:
1) take a class
     -if you are not in a class you can always show up for a random class
     -if you are no longer the normal age of a student: have a midlife crisis, decide to go back to school, take a business communications class in which you are assigned to give a presentation on anything you want
2) promote your blog
3) people will donate money to you. They may donate money because they think your blog is amazing, or because they make money off all of your brilliant ideas, or because they feel sorry for you that you waste all of your time blogging and are having a mid-life crisis.

Repeat steps 2 and 3 for every class you take.  The donations will start pouring in.

*by "gazillions" I mean at least five
1. Go around the beltway with a can of spraypaint and paint your blog name on everything you can find, such as the HoV lane, overpasses, and people's bumpers (you may need to tailgate really close to do this, and the spraypaint may blow back in your face while you lean out the window, but I don't think you should let this stop you)
2. Find a way to change the Google homepage to your blog. This should increase traffic significantly. I think the Chinese government did something like this recently, so it can't be very hard.
3. Make a youtube video that is called "nude celebrities" and then just play a five minute video of your blog. You can scroll up and down the blog page if you feel that you need a more action-oriented video.
4. Get a cropduster airplane and fly really low over a big city such as Washington D.C. or NYC. This should draw lots of attention. Shout out the window "please visit www.whateveryourblogsnameis.com" at all the people you see. Make sure you say "please" or else they might think you are a crazy wacknut with bad manners.
5. Go to a crowded movie theater with lots of flyers and business cards for your blog. Position yourself at the main entrance, and yell "fire*" really loud. At this point the theater should empty rather quickly. Make sure you give everyone a flyer as they file past you. 

*you do not need to actually start a fire, but it helps.

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