Saturday, March 13, 2010

Make money by ratting on your friends to the IRS

You may not be aware, but every year the IRS offers a reward to anyone who provides them with information about a person who has evaded taxes. If you turn in someone for tax evasion the IRS will give you a reward of 10% of whatever amount the person owed. Usually this comes to several thousand dollars or more, but sometimes it is in the millions. You will need some basic information about the person, including their social security number. This is for real. You can download the official form here: http://www.irs.gov/pub/irs-pdf/f211.pdf. Warning. This is a real IRS form, and may cause temporary insanity, blindness, and rage. 


There are several ways to cash in on this

1. Find a shady rich person who looks like he doesn't pay taxes. You can usually find this variety of rich person by buying drugs from people. If someone sells you drugs, get their first and last name, their social security number, and their address. Most drug dealers will gladly provide you with this information if you promise that you are not an undercover cop. Then run away and call the IRS. Important: Do not actually use the drugs that you bought. Drugs are bad for you.

2. Pick nine random numbers and add hyphens at a few places, such as 104-39-5301*. Then make up a name and an address, and send it to the IRS. If you do this a couple of times you will probably get someone who has actually evaded some of their taxes. Jackpot.

3. Evade your own taxes. Turn yourself in. Collect reward. This is probably the easiest way, and mathematically, I think you come out ahead.

4. Pick a person who you don't like, ask them for their social security number, and then tell the IRS that they have withheld a couple million in taxes. If you are very friendly with the IRS person, they will probably take your word for it and go ahead and send you the reward before verifying the info. Then they will audit the person, and you can send them taunting text messages from your beach house that you bought with the reward money. Double jackpot!

5. Report the IRS to the IRS. The IRS will then have to investigate itself for fraud. The resulting audit will probably take several decades to resolve itself, and in the meantime you won't have to pay any taxes, and no one else will either. Once it becomes known that you were the genius behind it, lots of people will send you money to thank you. You should forward this money to Howtomakeadollar. When the audit is finally over, you can collect 10% of the U.S. GDP as your reward. This should be enough money for you to buy a motorcycle and drive around the country for a while. Thats what I would do.




*104395301-- I'm pretty sure this is a prime number. If so, everyone on the Internet owes me a dollar. Official Fact Check Guy- Please verify.

2 comments:

  1. Official AccountantMarch 13, 2010 at 10:48 AM

    Let me know if you happen to be one of these people who, at first glance, would appear to be "cheating" on your taxes. I am sure that I will be able to help. I helped Tim Geithner and Tom Daschle fill out their tax forms and I have helped Howtomakeadollar overcome all of their tax issues as well. I use only the most ethical accounting practices but if you are one of these people who are turned in to the IRS I certainly can help you out.

    On the other hand, if you would like to turn someone in and receive the 10% reward, I also have a long list of potential suspects to turn in. Of course it is going to cost you some money, but just think of the amount of dollars you could make on this investment. I will sell you 10 names for $100 dollars or 100 names for $9,999 (a $1 discount).

    ReplyDelete
  2. That is a prime number. The easy way to check is to see if it meets the formula of 6n+1. http://primes.utm.edu/lists/small/millions/

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...