Friday, March 12, 2010

How to make two dollars by unionizing against yourself

Howtomakeadollar exists on the premise that very few ideas are worth one million dollars, but there are millions of ideas that are worth one dollar. This premise is a pretty good one, and has been working rather well. We have made about $34 so far. A few days ago I got a calculator out to see if $34 is close to one million, and I discovered that it isn't. In fact, we will have to make a dollar everyday for about 2,739 years before we make a million. This is about a thousand years longer that I expect to live. Additionally, you have to factor in things like inflation, thermodynamics, and radiational cooling*, which reduce our earnings over time. So our whole premise is in question right now.

In light of this fact, Howtomakeadollar has decided to unionize against itself to raise wages and benefits. We are sick of Big Blogging taking profits for itself, and we demand at least two dollars. Our company name will remain the same, but we will now pay ourselves two dollars for every dollar we earn. I'm pretty sure this is how unions work, and it seems to be a pretty good strategy. Which would you rather have? One dollar or two? I really can't see any downside to unionizing.

We've consulted our accountant about this, and he thinks it is an excellent idea, especially for long term growth. Our official fact check guy did not respond, probably because he was in awe of how great an idea it was and did not feel like there was anything he could possibly add to the discussion. You know a good idea when you hear it.


  1. Official Fact Check GuyMarch 14, 2010 at 11:38 AM

    Well if you must know, you have to ask for $2 of net present value, which would be $1 now and the equivalent of $1 now in the future. Unions call this a pension fund. The wonderful thing about Pension funds is that they do not actually have to be the least bit solvent. The government has a program called the Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation, and they will kick money in if a pension fund goes under. The only problem with this is that they take about $12 per person each year in premiums, which is a lot more than the $2 that we are asking for in this case.

    But regardless of whether you want a pension fund or just more money, all that is necessary is to charge an administrative fee on the donations of $1. So each $1 donation will actually be for $2.

  2. This is excellent advice Official Fact Check Guy. I'm not sure exactly what it means, but it sounds like an endorsement, so we will now proceed with this plan without further deliberation.


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