Wednesday, March 24, 2010

How to make a million dollars on the stock market

Making a million dollars on the stock market is actually a lot easier than most people think. There are dozens of ways to do it, but I am going to show you a couple of the easiest and most fool-proof techniques

Idea No. 1: Make a million dollars on the stock market by using a time machine
This is definitely the easiest way to make millions on the stock market. All you need to do is get in a time machine and go back to like 1968 and invest about $5,000 in stocks in McDonalds. Then move back to the present and sell them. If you do this, you will actually have slightly more than $1 million.

If you don't have a time machine, you can rent one from Howtomakeadollar, or you can buy an "E-Z Do-it-Yourself Time Machine Kit" from us. Rentals cost $1, and kits cost $10 (plus $.44 shipping).








Pros: 
1. You get to hang out with people in the sixties, which sounds like fun*
2. You can tell "future jokes" that no one will get, but then, several decades later, they will.
*Things to do while hanging out in 1968:
1. Witness the Martin Luther King assassination (-100)
2. Witness the Robert F. Kennedy assassination (-100)
3. Get kicked around by cops while participating in race riots (-100)
4. Fight in the Vietnam War (-100)
5. Watch the first episode of "One Life to Live" (+500) ("One Life to Live" is the official favorite show of Howtomakeadollar)
totals: -400 +500 = +100. 
Conclusion: 1968 is a +100 year. It was awesome!


Cons:
1. You need to come up with $5,000, which may require you to get a job for a few months.

Idea No. 2: Make a million dollars on the stock market by buying into the Howtomakeadollar Mutual Fund (HDMF).
1. Send us a bunch of money. The more the better, but any amount is good.


2. Wait around for a while.
3. In the mean time, go ahead and send us more money
4. We will take care of the rest.

1 comment:

  1. Official AccountantMarch 24, 2010 at 9:57 PM

    As someone who has full access to the financial books of Howtomakeadollar, I can assure you that everyone who invests in HDMF will make millions. The more people you tell about HDMF and the more money your friends put into the mutual fund, the more money YOU make. I am helping Howtomakeadollar utilize the same investment strategy as a great personal friend and client of mine named Bernie M. He discovered an awesome and completely ethical way to help people make money and now he is allowing HDMF to utilize a similar approach. For every $1 you invest, HDMF gives you $2 within 1 week. Remember, it really helps if you spread the word amongst your friends and get them to invest in HDMF too (preferably within a week of your initial investment). What are you waiting for?! Give us all your money now!! You cannot afford not to!! THERE IS NO TIME TO LOSE!!!!

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