How to make a million dollars on the stock market

Making a million dollars on the stock market is actually a lot easier than most people think. There are dozens of ways to do it, but I am going to show you a couple of the easiest and most fool-proof techniques

Idea No. 1: Make a million dollars on the stock market by using a time machine
This is definitely the easiest way to make millions on the stock market. All you need to do is get in a time machine and go back to like 1968 and invest about $5,000 in stocks in McDonalds. Then move back to the present and sell them. If you do this, you will actually have slightly more than $1 million.

If you don't have a time machine, you can rent one from Howtomakeadollar, or you can buy an "E-Z Do-it-Yourself Time Machine Kit" from us. Rentals cost $1, and kits cost $10 (plus $.44 shipping).

Pros: 

1. You get to hang out with people in the sixties, which sounds like fun*
2. You can tell "future jokes" that no one will get, but then, several decades later, they will.
*Things to do while hanging out in 1968:
1. Witness the Martin Luther King assassination (-100)
2. Witness the Robert F. Kennedy assassination (-100)
3. Get kicked around by cops while participating in race riots (-100)
4. Fight in the Vietnam War (-100)
5. Watch the first episode of "One Life to Live" (+500) ("One Life to Live" is the official favorite show of Howtomakeadollar)
totals: -400 +500 = +100. 
Conclusion: 1968 is a +100 year. It was awesome!


Cons:
1. You need to come up with $5,000, which may require you to get a job for a few months.

Idea No. 2: Make a million dollars on the stock market by buying into the Howtomakeadollar Mutual Fund (HDMF).
1. Send us a bunch of money. The more the better, but any amount is good.

2. Wait around for a while.
3. In the mean time, go ahead and send us more money
4. We will take care of the rest.