I can only assume that the reason no one has bid on our priceless artwork is because you feel that your house is too modest to be burdened by such a magnificent and groundbreaking wall hanging. However, this is not a real loss for us, because we can still make a significant amount of money off this piece of art even if no one buys it.
Alternative idea: if you do not want to be on the bad side of the IRS change step 5 in the above business plan to read "5. After the price has been bid up really high, demand the highest bidder pay the full bid price." Friends forget and forgive... the IRS does not!