Saturday, January 9, 2010

How to Start a Business with a Chainsaw

Business Idea: Remove fallen trees from people's property

You will need:
Cover of darkness
Dark pants and sweatshirt
Pickup truck

Business Plan: 
1. Locate a tree on someone's property
2. Sneak out late at night
3. Saw it down
4. Don't let it fall on you. (If it does fall on you, saw off your legs and army crawl to safety.) 
5. Go to the person's house the next day
6. Tell them that you noticed that they have a downed tree in their yard
7. Offer to cut it up and remove it for a dollar
8. Start up your chainsaw and brandish it menacingly if they don't immediately agree (I am assuming that you brought it with you when you went into their house)
9. Saw up tree
10. Load wood onto your truck (If you don't have a truck, click here to see how to get one)
10. Haul it away
11. Chances are that you didn't think about where to put the wood. In that case, just dump it in someone else' yard later that night.
12. Offer to clean it up the next day.

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