Business Name: Terrorist Beatdown Corp.
Business Description: Sell tickets to people who want a chance to beat up a terrorist, or watch it happen.
Business Logistics: Next time a terrorist gets arrested, you need to run to the courthouse and post his bail ASAP before anyone else has a chance. Once you have freed him, tie him up really good and stash him on a big boat. Cruise out into international waters and sell tickets to people who want to beat him up. Twenty dollars for a single punch, 50 for a knee to the crotch, and 200 for a full five minute beatdown, $500 for a crowbar, shovel, or two-by-four beating. You can sell tickets for observers as well. The important thing is to make sure you are in international waters. I’m about 50% certain that you can do whatever you want in international waters. There are no civil liberties at sea. The ocean has no respect. Eventually the Geneva people will convince the Navy to go after you. No problem. Just dump the guy out and pretend you are fishing.
Business Costs: The biggest expense will be posting bail. For really dirty terrorists this can run in the hundreds of thousands or even millions of dollars. The other expense is a boat. You’ll need a big boat that can hold a crowd of at least 100 people. It will need to be fast enough to get out to international waters before the Coast Guard takes notice. You can probably find a boat like this on the cheap at Craigslist
Business Risks: Terrorist escapes, blows up boat with pair of shoes.
Feasibility Quotient: 46
Competitors: Guantanamo Bay Detention Camp
Marketing: If you post bail on a terrorist and then run him off into international waters, you will probably get all the publicity you need.
Related Businesses: This business model also works for rapists, molesters, serial killers and jaywalkers
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