Thursday, December 24, 2009

10 Ways to Make Money at Christmastime*

*Contains only four actual ideas

There are lots of ways to make money at Christmastime. In fact, that is what the holiday is all about! It is a holiday that is based on and dependent on commercialization. Thats the meaning of Christmas. So if you aren't making loads of money off Christmas, you are probably one of the dupes who is spending it. Don't be a dupe.

As with everything else on this blog, some of these ideas are kind of good, others are not.

Business Ideas

1. Plastic Junk With Santa on It: 
 1. Find someone on Facebook who looks like they are from Taiwan or the Philippines.
 2. Friend them.
 3. Ask them to mass produce about 10,000 cheap plastic items with a picture of Santa Claus on them. These  items can be anything from napkins to mud flaps to frisbees. Most people in Taiwan or the Philippines should have no trouble filling this order.
 4. If you are feeling particularly cynical you can have a picture of baby Jesus instead of Santa.
 5. Once the shipment arrives, sell everything to Wal-Mart.

2. Christmas Tree Removal
 1. Go around after Christmas and offer to take people's Christmas trees for a dollar
 2. Put all the trees in a big pile in the middle of a field. This pile should be enormous, with at least 50 trees in it.
 3. Soak the trees with gasoline
 4. Advertise a big Christmas tree bonfire on New Years Eve
 5. Sell tickets to the event
 6. Sell hot chocolate
 7. Set the trees on fire at midnight
 8. Optional: Put a few loud firecrackers in the middle of the pile of trees so that it makes cool noises and pops lots of big sparks.

3. Gift flipping
 1. Figure out which electronic gadgets are likely to be in high demand at Christmas
 2. Buy as many of them as possible
 3. Sell them on Ebay for more than you bought them for
Side Note: A friend of mine bought two Nintendo Wii's a few years ago when they were new. He sold one on Ebay on Dec. 20 for $603, and sold another on Dec. 23 for over $800. They had cost him about $250 each.

4. Following FedEx trucks around
 1. Drive around until you see a FedEx or UPS truck
 2. Follow it
 3. Do not look suspicious
 4. Wait until the driver stops and leaves a box on someone's porch
 5. Wait until the driver drives away
 6. Run over to the porch and grab whatever they left
 7. Open  it up and see what it is. It is probably one of five things: A power tool, An electronic gadget, Jewelry, A bag of mixed nuts, A cheap plastic thing with Santa on it.
8. Take it home and sell it
Side note: This is actually a pretty big problem at Christmas, so if you are expecting a delivery, you should try to be home when it arrives, or you should leave instructions for the driver to put it somewhere that is not visible from the street.

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