Thursday, December 31, 2009

2009 Looking Back: The Best Business Ideas Ever

Howtomakeadollar is a very well established, venerable institution that has existed since the early days of the republic. We were founded by the esteemed and honorable Dr. Andrew Benjamin Tyler in 1759 in Hampton, New Hampshire. Although our founder is still alive and quite vigorous, regular maintenance of this website passed into the hands of his successors back in 1952. Now, as the end of 2009 approaches (the 250th anniversary of the business), he has asked us to commemorate the best, worst, and most ethical ideas he has ever come up with.


Most Ethical Ideas
1. Sal's Vacation Army. It was part of our Christmas moneymaking series, and turned out to be highly profitable.
2. Bottled Bog Water: Not only is it a cutting edge business model, its also healthy!
3. Moneymaking Opportunities for Babies. Everyone has a baby or two, very few profit from them
5. Make Money Giving Terrorists What They Deserve Very ethical, very profitable, and good for national security
6. Make Money off the Nigerian Royal Family Make easy money transferring international bank accounts while helping a down-on-his-luck Nigerian guy. What's more ethical than that?

2009 Worst Ideas Ever
1. Make Money by Building an Island Out of Garbage. In principle we thought this would be a good one, but we were late to the party. It turns out there is already a gigantic garbage island in the Pacific Ocean, and barges were harder to find than we anticipated.
2. If I had a Dime Everytime I Heard That... The key word for why this failed is "if." Bottom line, people don't pay up.
3. Make Money by Cleaning Your Car This is another one of those "works in principle, not in practice" ideas
4. Make Money by Selling Snow: This idea may work once global warming gets back on track, but the day we posted this idea the East Coast got hit by a blizzard. High supply = no profit.
5. Make Money on Black Friday: Reason it failed: We didn't think of it until the Sunday after Black Friday. Woops!

2009 Best Business Ideas Ever
10. Make Six Dollars by Fixing My Bathroom Window for Me. This one has yet to make any money for anyone, but I really need someone to do it. Please help.
9. Give a Penny, Take a Penny We like this one because its easy and free. 
8. Free Money: This one is pretty much the same as Give a Penny Take a Penny, but with higher profit margins. Whats not to like?
7. Make Money By Cleaning Snow Off Cars: Only downside to this is that ShamWows get kind of weird when they freeze
6. Gift Cards Are a Scam: Not exactly a business, but its a good point to be made
5. Save Money by Not Buying a Swimming Pool: Again, not an actual business, but you can save thousands this way
4. Make Money by Not Farming: Easiest money you'll ever make
3. Start a Blog: We've made just over six dollars on this blog. Thats six times more than what we expected.

2. Collect Nickels: Impossible to lose money, high chance of gaining
1. Get a Promotion and a Raise: Yep, I got promoted the day after I posted this. It works.

Check back tomorrow for a (relatively) serious post about starting a microbusiness in 2010

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