Make money by keeping a list

Scenario:
You're laying in bed thinking about all of the brilliant ways you can make money... and then it comes to you...  THE BEST IDEA OF YOUR LIFE!  You think to yourself "this is such a good idea I'll never forget it."  And you go to sleep happy that you will soon be a millionaire.  You wake up in the morning and as you're taking a shower you remembered that before you fell asleep you had THE BEST IDEA OF YOUR LIFE... but the problem is: you can't remember what that idea was!

Don't let this scenario happen to you.  You never know when inspiration will hit you.  So when it hits you, be prepared.  KEEP A LIST.  I recommend keeping a ipod or iphone with you at all times so you can add all of your ideas to a list.  But if you don't have an ipod or iphone and don't want to spend money on cool technology, all you need is a pen and paper.  Write down all of your ideas, you never know which one will be THE ONE!

Make Money at the Olympics

The other day I was going about my business, making money hand over fist, and watching all my stock investments go up while the market went down, and checking out my supermodel wife, when it hit me. The Olympics are this year. Like now. Who knew? Actually, they start today, Feb 12. In Vancouver British Columbia, which is in Canada.

Three ways to make money at the Olympics

Get really good at a sport

1. Pick a sport that you think is an Olympic event

2. Get really good at it by playing first person video games and watching it on TV. This will give you some basic knowledge of how the sport works. The rest is just fitness, dieting, and motor skills, which anyone can do

3. Go to Vancouver

4. Win a gold medal in dramatic fashion, say, with a broken leg, or by beating some Russian guy.

5. Suddenly become really rich. (Not sure who pays you for this, but someone will)

Follow Athletes Around

If you don't feel like playing the requisite video games to become an Olympic athlete you can make money by following athletes around.

1. Find an Olympic athlete. You can identify them because they are usually extremely muscular, good looking, and fast. If you find an athlete that is not all of the above, you should look for a different one, because that one isn't going to win.

2. Follow athlete around.

3. When the athlete drops something, pick it up

4. Sell item on Ebay, or Craigslist if the item is really dirty and broken

5. Take pictures of athletes clothes, and any members of the opposite sex that appear with the athlete

6. Sell photos to gossip magazines.

7. Take pictures of athlete injecting self with steroids

8. Sell photos to athlete

Use an Athlete as a Human Billboard

You will need:

1. Post-it Note

2. Sharpie

How it works

1. Sneak up behind athlete just before the event starts

2. Write the name of your business on the post it note

3. Slap post-it note on athlete's back

Make Money by Answering People's Questions on KGB.com

You probably saw a commercial during the Super Bowl for something called KGB. The commercial featured two pencil-necked nerds in a wrestling mat with a sumo wrestler. Each guy had to figure out how to say "I surrender" in Japanese. The nerd who texted the kgb service (the number is 542-542) got the answer faster than the guy who surfed the internet. The first guy got away, the second guy wound up saying "bring it on fat man" and then got sat on. It was a typical Super Bowl commercial. See it here.

This service is useful to people who are willing to pay money for answers because they
A. Need good answers fast.
B. Are in too much of a hurry to take .12 seconds to run a google search

However, its also a decent way to make some money if you have a broad knowledge base. You can work as an answerer and get paid 10 cents for every question you answer. Its not a ton of money, but you can make about $10- $20 per hour this way. (You have to pass a general knowledge test on kgb.com in order to become a "special agent," but its not too hard.)

Here is how it works
Lets say some guy in Sri Lanka needs to know the best way to fight off a male Bengal tiger. He probably needs an answer really fast, so instead of googling "Best way to fight off a male Bengal tiger," he texts the question to 542542. (People in Sri Lanka always carry their iPhone when fighting tigers, especially Bengals). This question will then immediately appear on your computer, and you can answer it.*

*The best way to fight off a Bengal Tiger is to shoot it with the biggest gun you have while yelling something in Sri Lankan. It doesn't matter what you yell. Sri Lankan is a made up language that is very confusing to tigers, especially tigers that have been shot.

Likewise, if you need to get a quick answer about how to photocopy money, you can text it to kgb. Of course, you will have to pay some money to do this, but its an option if you are desperate. Howtomakeadollar never recommends spending money. Only earning* it.

*By "earning" we do not mean "earning fairly" or "earning by hard work." We mean "acquiring by any means available."

Make Money by Getting one of those cool texting donation numbers

You've probably seen ads for donating money to the Red Cross. Just text "HAITI" to 90999, and somehow the Red Cross gets 10 dollars. I have no idea how this works. All I know is that an easy way to make money would be to change your phone number to 90998, and hope lots of people misdial.

Happy Valanniversary* Meg!

Meg... you are loved by Matt!

Matt has reserved this day just for you.  He loves you so much he has given you something we're sure none of your friends have... your very own blog for the day.  Not only has he given you this blog for the day, but he has created his very own holiday for you.  Happy Valanniversary!

Matt loves Meg like a frat loves its keg

Like a bum loves to beg

'Cause she's pretty and sweet 

and good for him like whole wheat

He likes to take her on picnics

And his heart beats on pin pricks

'Cause he's hot for her 

like nuclear physics

Thats why at this time of year

He always holds her dear

Because he thinks she's fine

And thanks the Lord that its February nine.

A custom love haiku:

A day just for us:

Our Valanniversary!

Love everlasting.

I can't wait for the rest of our lives together!

*A Valanniversary is an anniversary that takes place near Valentines day

If you would like to be as romantic as Matt... get your own SHOW YOUR LOVE POST!

Sell priceless artwork

Believe it or not... "priceless" artwork actually has a price!  And it usually comes with a lot of zeros.  It appears selling and/or creating "priceless" art is a profitable business.

Here is the business plan:
1) Create "priceless" artwork
2) Sell above mentioned artwork on ebay for A LOT OF MONEY!

Unfortunately, there is not a perfect formula to determine what "priceless" really means.  Not all art and/or artists are appreciated as much as others.  Below is a picture of our attempt at this business model.  This "priceless" artwork titled "Long day in the lunchroom" really did have a price... but it was too high for the simple minded art collectors on ebay.  For those sophisticated art collectors that read this blog... today is your lucky day!  If you would like it... its yours for $1!  No where else in the world, besides howtomakeadollar, can you buy priceless artwork for only $1.

How to Make Money from the Super Bowl

The Super Bowl is a big deal, and tons of money is spent on it every year. In big markets like this you can do pretty well by simply gaining a tiny fraction of the overall market. You don't have to be a genius. Thats good for you, because statistically speaking, only like 1% of the population is a genius, so you probably aren't.

Fortunately for you, the screening process for Howtomakeadollar writers is very strict, and we are all geniouses. (sp??)


Idea: Sell "Tickets"
How the Business Works: Relatively few people have ever been to a Super Bowl, so most people probably don't know what tickets look like. This is where you come in.
1. Go to a county fair
2. Get a bunch of those tickets that say "admit one." I'm pretty sure thats what Super Bowl tickets look like.
3. Write "Super Bowl" on the tickets with a sharpie
4. Sell on Ebay, or if you happen to live near Miami, you can go to the stadium and scalp them outside

Idea: Sell hotdogs and beer
How the Business Works: You've probably been to a sporting event, and you may have seen people going around selling hotdogs and beer. They work for the stadium, so they don't keep the money they make. This is where you come in.
1. Get a bunch of hotdogs and beer.
2. Sneak into the stadium. (I doubt this will be very difficult.)
3. Run around shouting about your cold beer (does not have to be cold) and your hot dogs. For the beer you have to promote it as colder than any other beer ever, or else people will buy beer from a different guy who convinces them that his is colder. Hot dogs are easier. Just yell "Hot Dogs!" frequently. There are very few appropriate adjectives that can make a hot dog sound more appetizing. Either people want them or they don't.
4. Sell them to people for a dollar.

Idea: Make Bets
How the business works: Lots of people like to make bets on sports events, especially the Super Bowl. Only about half of these people win their bets. Howtomakeadollar has a better way.
1. Go to a Super Bowl party
2. Offer any bet on the game outcome that someone is willing to take. It makes no difference who you bet on to win. Just bet against whatever the other person says.
3. Watch Super Bowl
4. If your team wins, make sure the other guy pays up
5. If your team loses, insist that you actually bet the opposite way, and make them pay you. If they refuse, offer a compromise in which no one pays. Tell the person that its just money, and that you forgive them.