Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Radioactive Wild Boars Running Wild in Germany

Some things are just too strange to make up. For example, lets say I told you that the wild boar population of an industrialized European nation suddenly exploded, and large marauding hordes of wild boars were attacking citizens in the capital city. You'd probably assume I was making it up. But what if I added that these wild boars were also radioactive? Well, believe it or not, its true. A real German newspaper wrote about it here.

Just two weeks ago a herd of radioactive wild boars attacked a handicapped guy in Berlin. Not out in the woods, not in Zimbabwe. In the middle of Berlin.

The rapidly growing radioactive wild boar population is bad enough that the German government is paying bounties to hunters for every radioactive wild boar they kill. There is no reason you can't get in on this. All you need is a gun and the willingness to stand your ground and shoot herds of attacking radioactive wild boars. If this is something you think you can handle, then by all means get yourself over to Germany and let the killing begin. Somebody needs to put a stop to this.

And no, wild boars are not the same thing as pigs. They are enormous, they have really long, sharp fangs, they are aggressive, territorial, and very fast. They travel in large packs. Adding radioactivity to their bloodstream doesn't help.

This boar's head is about the size of two men, and his fangs, by the look of them, could go all the way through your head and come out the other side. Did I mention it is radioactive?
This is a lot of radioactive wild bacon

2 comments:

  1. It looks like the hunter in the last picture took out the radioactive wild boar with a paintball gun. Maybe the beast is actually alive and just cuddling with the guy.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The last picture is sooooooo fake.

    ReplyDelete

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