Give Your Dog a More Fashionable Butt

Howtomakeadollar has frequently discussed money making opportunities related to pets. There are a lot of them. There's the lame, end of the world stolen idea, the related, but not quite the same, MASSIVE SUPERNOVA DESTRUCTION Idea, the Psychic Octopus Idea (Idea over. Octopus dead, Calimari eaten.), and the Flying Animal SuperVacation Idea.

Well, here is another one: http://www.reargearstore.com/

Yep, its a store that sells butt covers for cats and dogs. I'm sorry. Its not butt covers. Its "rear gear." Sometimes you get an idea and you just know its pure gold from the start. This one appears to be brown gold.

Can Someone Please Help Me Find Where My Missile Landed?

Ok, you've probably heard about this by now. A "large" missile was recently launched just outside of Los Angeles California, and was seen streaking across the sky at sunset by millions of people. However, the U.S. Military has stated that they don't know anything about it, and it wasn't them. Nobody seems to know where it landed, or exactly where it was launched.



This is the type of thing that the military is usually secretive about, and usually winds up saying it was a weather balloon. However, this time they are openly seeking out where it came from, and nobody has breached the "weather balloon" excuse. Probably because it was a missile and everybody knows it.

Howtomakeadollar has already pointed out that our missiles are in danger, and need to be protected and watched carefully by intelligent and capable individuals.

If you are interested in making money off this, just go locate where the missile landed, and sell it the military. I have a hunch they are interested in recovering it, wherever it came from.

How to save $9 on Chipotle burritos on Halloween

Every Halloween Chipotle does a promotion to get people to come and eat their yummy food.  Last year, all you had to do was dress like a burrito (i.e. have at least one square inch of tin foil on you) and you got a free burrito!  This year the theme was anti-processed food.  Howtomakeadollar is not anti-processed food... in fact we support and love processed food!  Without processed food we would all most likely be either dead by now or 50 pounds lighter.

Instead of free burritos, Chipotle was selling $2 burritos.  Thats an average savings of $4.50 per burrito.  Not too bad!  Howtomakeadollar dressed up like processed food and went to Chipotle.  Some people didn't seem to get the memo that the theme had changed this year from dressing up like a burrito to being anti-processed food.  Chipotle didn't care though.  They were giving $2 burritos to everyone.

Howtomakeadollar as I mentioned supports processed foods and by dressing up like one of our favorite processed food... we were able to advertise for one of our favorite restaurants while getting a $2 burrito.  Our dressing up consisted of taping trash to a piece of paper and pinning it to our shirt.  By the way, the McRib consumed for the purpose of making this costume was phenomenal!

So next halloween, be sure to stop by Chipotle with some trash pinned to your shirt or a small piece of tinfoil and you will surely get a discounted burrito!

All good things must come to an end

A while back howtomakeadollar blogged about an amazing octopus that predicted who would win the world cup.  I am sorry to tell you, that Paul the Octopus is dead.

So, Paul the Octopus is no longer a viable option to make money.  Although, I have heard Michael Jackson is making a lot more money now that he's dead than he did when we was alive.  So... who knows, maybe Paul the Octopus is still a good money maker.

RIP Paul the Octopus

How to Cash in Your Nickel Collection

To make sense of this blog, you need to read the previous blogs we've written about nickels. First, we predicted nickel prices would go up, and they did. Second, we clued you in to it and told you to get to work on your nickel collection. 

The obvious question at this point is how to cash in your nickels. There are several ways.

1. The Illegal Way
It is illegal to melt U.S. coinage. However, in the future, its always possible that this law will be overturned. If metal prices ever go totally through the roof, like 25 cents for the metal in a nickel, then the government will surely overturn this law in order to increase the metal supply and reduce prices. So just keep your nickels until the law is overturned. Or, alternatively, you could just break the law and melt them yourself. I recommend putting them in your car and parking in the sun. That will probably melt them, but I don't really know how to go about cleaning them up later. Thats on you to figure out. The criminal mind will probably find a way.

2. By Exporting Them
Another way to make money off nickels would be to export them to a country that doesn't care about U.S. laws, such as China or Venezuela.  If you can find a way to get them to China without paying high shipping costs, this would work.

3. By Waiting for the Inevitable
My guess is the Treasury will eventually start making nickels out of something cheaper such as zinc or aluminum. Look for it in the news, because it will probably happen sometime in the next year or two as inflation keeps increasing. Once the new cheap nickels are in circulation, the price of the originals will go up all the higher as collectors, melters, and weirdos like me start hoarding them all. They will also get bought up by China and other places that will melt them freely. This is your chance to sell them off to people who want them.

4. By Waiting for THE FINANCIAL CRISIS THAT ENDS ALL FINANCIAL CRISES
If inflation gets too far out of control, the Federal Reserve will take the drastic step of hacking off zeros from all our bank accounts. Like I said, its a drastic step. However, if inflation really does go out of control, lopping off zeros is the only widely accepted solution, and its been done many times in the recent past. Brazil hacked off three zeros in 1994 and again in 1998. Zimbabwe lost three zeros in 2006. Israel knocked off 3 zeros in 1985. Turkey lost six zeros in 2004.  Like I said, its extremely drastic, but it is the widely accepted way of handling runaway hyperinflation. By "hacking off zeros," I mean dividing the value of paper money by 10, 100, or 1000 times. Inflation would have to increase significantly in order to warrant this kind of trick in the U.S., but in just the past 20 years a gallon of gas has gone from under $1 to around $3, and movie tickets have gone from under $5 to over 10. Don't even get me started on baseball tickets. So you can see that eventually such a step might be conceivable.

If this happens, there would be a mandatory trade-in of all currency. However, in the examples above, only the paper currency is revalued, leaving coinage intact.  Its much easier to demonetize your bank account electronically than to visit your house and hunt down your piggy bank. The government just assumes that people don't have more than a few pocketfuls of coins, so they leave you alone. Some freak with a basement full of nickels would get off pretty well in this situation. This has the effect of multiplying the value of coins while dividing the value of paper money. Your $10,000 savings account might only be worth $1,000 or $100, or 10, but your nickel would then be worth 50 cents, or $5 dollars, or $50. It sounds far fetched and drastic, but like I pointed out above, its happened several times in recent history, and there is no fundamental reason why it couldn't happen in the U.S. If such a thing happens, your $1,000 nickel collection would be worth $10,000, $100,000 or $1,000,000. If it gets as bad as Turkey, with six zeros being divided off, your $1,000 nickels would be worth $1,000,000,000. Yep, a billion.  If it does happen, you can cash in simply by spending your coins as money like you currently do. The only difference is they would be worth 10 or 100 or 1000 times more. Then you can tell your grandkids about how you used to buy "penny candy" and get a haircut for 10 cents, like your grandparents tell you. Economics works in cycles.

Again, let me say that this is an extremely unlikely scenario. First, inflation would have to go up massively before the Fed would even consider this. Second, the Fed would have to have the backbone to actually lop off everyone's bank accounts. The first step is somewhat conceivable, but the Fed growing a backbone is not.

Nickels Are Now Worth More Than Nickels Are Worth

A long time ago Howtomakeadollar suggested collecting a bunch of nickels, holding them until their metal value increased, and then selling them as metal. We stated this prediction clearly, and we personally guaranteed that nickel prices would go up, over 5 cents. Well, they did. On October 12, 2010, the metal value of a nickel went up to 6.104 cents, meaning that the nickel in your pocket right now is worth more as metal than as money. And its actually worth quite a bit more. Right now the nickel in your pocket has made you just over 20% in profit, without you doing anything at all, except fishing around your pocket and smiling contentedly to yourself.

Since this awesome website is called How to Make a Dollar, I suggest you go clean out your car, look for an old piggy bank, and check under your sofa cushions. See if you you can collect five dollars worth of nickels (100 nickels). If you can find $5 worth of nickels, you actually have $6 dollars. Thats how you can make a dollar off money you already have, without doing any work or risking anything at all. Kind of cool huh?

Well, a dollar is all well and good, but its not an inspiring amount. Thats why we suggested buying several thousand dollars worth of nickels. Going from five cents to six cents is a 20% gain. A twenty percent gain on $1,000 is $200. Does $200 sound like decent money? Its certainly better than a dollar. 

But don't cash out now. Inflation is probably going to be a major theme in the world economy over the next several years. That means that metal prices are going to keep going up. Hold your nickels, collect more of them, and wait until they double up to10 cents in value. If you think that's far fetched, consider that in 2007 nickel prices were up over 7 cents, so its not a big stretch to think they could go higher in the future. A penny from before 1982 is now worth 2.5 cents, meaning it has more than doubled in value. Dimes made before 1965 are now worth $1.68. Nickels are following this trend as well. Right now they are up 20%, but they will eventually double in value at least.

In many ways this was the first "real" idea that we suggested, and we've suggested many other good ideas since then. However, this idea requires very little work on your part, and absolutely zero risk. Nickels are a completely risk-free investment. Worst case scenario, you still have the same number of nickels and the same amount of money. You haven't lost anything. 

Its easy to collect nickels. Just go to your bank and exchange $10 cash for $10 in nickels, or $20 for $20, or whatever. Of course, nickels get heavy when you start going up over $10 worth, so remember to bring a backpack or something, and don't try to buy like $100 (2,000 nickels) at a time. Also, the bank tellers will look at you like you are a crazy person, but you can always turn the tables on them and just look back at them like they are the crazy ones. That always gets them.

Stolen Idea Not Very Good Anyway

A while back Howtomakeadollar rocked the insurance market with extremely low priced supernova insurance for pets. Our policies are still available, and cover the next 5 billion years, so its not too late to buy your policy now.

Well, when you have a great idea, and when the market reacts favorably to it, its inevitable that copycats will come along and try to make a buck off your original idea by tweaking it a little bit. Recently we found out about an insurance company that claims to take care of your pets if you are a Christian, and the rapture happens, and you go to heaven all of a sudden and there is nobody left to take care of your pets. You can read about this company at eternalearthbound.com. To the best of my knowledge it is a real company.

Its real, but its not spectacular. The company claims that in the event of the rapture, an atheist will come along and grab your cat and dog and go take care of them for you, so you can live in eternal peace and joy in heaven without worrying about Muffy and Scruffy back home, while planet Earth rapidly descends into pestilence, war, famine, and death. Policies cost $110 and expire after 10 years.

I'm sure* there are some people who think this is a great deal, and have already ran out and purchased a bunch of policies.

*By "sure" I mean that it is theoretically possible that in some hypothetical situation, under the right circumstances, with enough alcohol, and having recently read the book of Ezekiel, that a person might come under the impression that this is a worthy investment of their $110.


But you need to think about this before you buy it. First, atheists don't believe the rapture is ever going to happen in the first place. So they are collecting your $110 without any plans to actually honor their commitment. Secondly, atheists hate animals. I know, the website says all the atheists are "animal lovers." But thats not true. Really, its not.

The Soviet Union was the most atheistic society that ever existed on a wide scale. So its a good test tube for how atheists actually behave when left to themselves without any transcendent moral guidelines. Most estimates show that at least 30 million people were killed without a trial in the Soviet Union. Even more, up to 100 million, were sent to frozen work camps in Siberia without a trial, where they dug holes in the tundra all day, and filled them in the next day.

How do you think their pets fared during this time? Not too good. Many people believe there were over one million stray, starving dogs roaming Moscow limping and covered in fleas during this time. Atheism is hard on animals, just like it is on people. After all, if there is no God, everything is permitted. Are those the people you want to pay money to take care of your pets?

Now, what about happy, friendly, animal loving atheists in the USA? They don't act like the Soviets do they? Well, no, not now they don't, but right now they are surrounded by a world that doesn't tolerate that kind of behavior. Put them in a society by themselves, and you get the Soviets. And wait until the tribulation starts, and massive epidemics spread around the world, followed by famine and war. Do you think an atheist is going to feel like honoring an old commitment to rescue your pet? -- A commitment he never believed he would have to honor in the first place? Commitments like that are rarely honored during good times. Do you think the atheists are going to make an effort to feed your cat in the midst of a worldwide famine?