Updated: How to LOSE $1 by racing in the Smith Mountain Lake Sprint Triathalon

Congratulations to Joseph Pull for making $1 off of this idea!!!!!!

Updated version:

Howtomakeadollar supports physical fitness feels physical fitness is overrated.  One way to get a good workout is to take up racing in triathlons.  Triathlons consist of swimming, biking and running.  They are easy.  People usually do not need to do any training for triathlons.

To make lose an extra dollar or two we suggest participating in triathlons with your friends and betting them you will beat them.

Step by Step plan:
1) Pay $180 for a year member ship to a swimming pool
2) Buy a new pair of $125 running shoes (howtomakeadollar is sponsored by Nike+ shoes, so use them!) (this is obviously an unsubstantiated claim... we just needed an excuse to include a picture)

3) Buy a new $2,900 bike, the more expensive the faster it is! (false: expensive bikes are slow... the older and rustier they are the better!)
4) Train (not completely necessary)
5) Sign up for the Smith Mountain Lake sprint triathlon
6) Bet your friend $1 that you finish before they do
7) Finish before your friend does (this one is the most important step in the plan)
7a) Allow your friend to pass you with only .5 miles left in the race... and watch them cross the finish line 30 seconds before you do.  
8) Added benefit... listen as the winners daughters remind you that their daddy is faster than you and that he won the race!

Easy way to make lose $1!


At least somebody made a dollar off of the deal!  Way to go Joe!!!!!

Happy Birthday Matt!

Happy Birthday Matt!  Congratulations... your sister Cassie loves you so much she has dedicated this blog to you for the day.

Here are some kind words written to you from your friends at howtomakeadollar on behalf of Cassie for your birthday:

Today is Matt's birthday and I'd like to say
He is funny and helpful and I like him that way
He's a wonderful uncle and an awesome brother
And I would never trade him for any other

Matt has mad skillz
He can leap over hills
He commands respect
He never calls collect
He has a big heart
He's extremely smart
If my computer dies
it comes as no surprise
that he can fix it in a flash before my eyes
He's respectable
He's electable
He's a very good man
He's more reliable than the bank of Japan

I'm glad he's my brother and I wish him well
Cause he's classier than a Hilton hotel
My kids think he's great
(its not up for debate)
He's the very best uncle before their eyes
And he's a lot more fun than a Nobel peace prize*

Happy Birthday Matt, today is May First
I hope you like this poem; it wasn't rehearsed.



Congratulations Matt! You have also been featured on todayisjustforyou!
You can also show your love to a friend, family member, or special someone.


*The views and opinions discussed in this poem are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official policy or opinion of the Alfred B. Nobel Foundation.

How to make $1 by racing in the Smith Mountain Lake Sprint Triathalon

Howtomakeadollar supports physical fitness.  One way to get a good workout is to take up racing in triathlons.  Triathlons consist of swimming, biking and running.  They are easy.  People usually do not need to do any training for triathlons.

To make an extra dollar or two we suggest participating in triathlons with your friends and betting them you will beat them.

Step by Step plan:
1) Pay $180 for a year member ship to a swimming pool)
2) Buy a new pair of $125 running shoes (howtomakeadollar is sponsored by Nike+ shoes, so use them!)

3) Buy a new $2,900 bike, the more expensive the faster it is!
4) Train (not completely necessary)
5) Sign up for the Smith Mountain Lake sprint triathlon
6) Bet your friend $1 that you finish before they do
7) Finish before your friend does (this one is the most important step in the plan)

Easy way to make $1!

How to save $107 by not buying hosting

For all of our internet life, we at howtomakeadollar have been under the impression that in order to have a dotcom you need to buy a domain name and then pay for hosting.  This is in fact completely and utterly false.  This is just another one of those lines "they" want you to believe.  Unfortunately our official fact check guy did not pick up on the lie we posted on the blog asking people to support us so we could get $107 to buy hosting.   We do not need to buy hosting to get a dotcom!

We are pleased to announce the wildly successful new website

WWW.HOWTOMAKEADOLLAR.COM

Thats right, you no longer have to type in blogspot.com!  Not having to type these twelve characters will probably save you 3.4 hours over your life span.  For everyone else out there that is looking to get a dotcom... DO NOT BUY HOSTING.  If you are using a program like blogger they have instructions here on how to link your blogspot website to your dotcom.  No hosting necessary!

How to Make Six Dollars By Fixing My Bathroom Window -- Updated

This blog is a re-posting of a blog I wrote back in January, with updated information. For some reason no one has done this yet, so I am offering it again. You can read the original here.

Business Plan: You fix my bathroom window, I pay you.

Business Description: The bathroom on the third floor of my house has a window. The frame of this window is rotted, and does not allow the window to close properly. This allows me to hear conversations from my neighbors who are outside my house arguing loudly even though it is raining, cold, and late at night.

If you can fix it, I'll give you ten dollars. I estimate that you will need to buy about four dollars worth of lumber for this job. That will give you a $6 profit in addition to the rotted wood, which I will let you keep as a reader appreciation gift. You will also need a 40 foot ladder because the rotted frame is inaccessible from the inside of the house, and an umbrella because it is raining. You may also need to hire an assistant to hold the umbrella for you. I estimate that it will take you about an hour, (longer if you fall off the ladder, which I will not help you keep steady) which comes to $6 an hour.  Not bad. Many people in China in 1000 BC never even heard of six dollars. 

Six dollars can buy you a child bride in Iran, (creepy, not recommended) a house in Zimbabwe, (made of giraffe poo, not recommended) or six "Show your love" poems to any people you name. (Recommended)

How to Make Money by Giving Cocaine to Monkeys

This is another one of those ideas that you probably will not believe is actually real. But it is.


No doubt you remember hearing about the trillion dollar government stimulus plan that went through the White House last year. Well, a trillion dollars goes a really long way, and at some point you run out of things to give it to, and you start passing it out to pretty much everyone who asks, even if the people asking are crazy nut jobs who will use it to buy cocaine for their lab monkeys. Thats what seems to have happened at Wake Forest. A bunch of mad scientists were given about $71,000 to see what happens when you give cocaine to monkeys.


You may laugh, but I can see where they are coming from on this one. In fact, just the other day I was on my way to work and I started thinking "What if I gave all this coke to a bunch of monkeys?"


Fortunately we have the Internet, and I was able to find out exactly what happens to cokehead monkeys, in very precise detail. Here is an actual, for real, not made up quote from the Wake Forest mad scientists. 


"We have demonstrated significant alterations within the dopamine system of nonhuman primates following chronic cocaine self-administration..."


So, there you have it! Coke fiend monkeys have significantly altered dopamine systems. I don't know what a dopamine system is, but I'm not surprised in the least that cocaine messes it up. In fact, if you gave me the following quiz, I'm sure I would have aced it even before reading about this.


The dopamine system of a monkey that snorts lots of coke will be (choose one)
A. Pretty much the same as other dopamine systems
B. Messed up beyond all recognition
C. Unsure


Answer: B


Ok fine, so the government gave less that one one millionth of one percent of its stimulus to support cocaine habits for monkeys. How do I make a dollar off this?


There are several ways
1. Make money by selling cocaine. They have to be getting it somewhere.* No reason they shouldn't get it from you. 
2. Make money by selling monkeys. Monkey dealerships do not usually do well in the U.S.,** but you know these monkeys are going to start dying off soon, and they will need to be replaced.
3. Run the Wake Forest researchers out of business by low-balling the bid price. Think about it. They got $71,000 because they asked for it. No way was anyone else competing for this grant. All you have to do is bid the same project for less money, and you'll get the grant. Then write a bunch of gack about dopamine systems, addiction,  and Kurt Cobain, and you will be successful.




*Seriously, where are they getting it?


** A while back Howtomakeadollar attempted running a monkey dealership. No go.

Make Money by Being Good at Rock Paper Scissors

Most people believe that Rock Paper Scissors* is a game of luck. Those people are wrong. At least, according to the World Rock Paper Scissors Society. (I swear this is a real group. Check their website if you don't believe me). The World RPS Society offers strategies and even offers a tab that says "How to beat anyone at Rock Paper Scissors." So, if you take their word for it, this is a game of actual skill.

Regardless of your skill or lack thereof, you can enter various national championship events and win real money. In fact, last year the winner made $10,000. So, all you have to do is practice playing RPS all the time, and you should get pretty good at it. I recommend constantly asking people to play you at RPS. Use your co-workers, your boss, your spouse, your neighbors, and all of your friends, and play as often as possible. Most people enjoy playing RPS, so you will probably become more popular this way. Once you get really good you can enter the competition and win.

Another option would be to wait around outside the tournament. When the winner comes out you can challenge him/her to a round of RPS for all the prize money. If they refuse to play, or if they beat you, just steal the money.

Another lesser-known strategy is to use a gun. Gun always beats paper and scissors, and it usually beats rock. There are a few people you may encounter now and then who insist that rock beats gun, but most of these people are dead, and the rest probably won't last much longer.

*Growing up, I always thought this game was called "Paper Rock Scissors." In college I got in a big fight with a kid about whether it was "Rock, Paper..." or "Paper, Rock..." We agreed that scissors is always last, and he defeated me in the argument by invoking Rule 5**. So now I always say "Rock, Paper..." instead of "Paper Rock..."  I think this is relevant enough to include in this blog.




**I don't have time to explain Rule 5 right now. If you don't know what it is, then you've probably broken it by now anyway.