Make money with your children

Howtomakeadollar is a very principled, ethical, and values-driven institution, and one of its primary beliefs is that you should get your children involved in entrepreneurship at an early age. Many people call this child labor, but don't worry. Its not.

We've already written a few blogs about ways to make money with your kids. You can read a few of them here and here. 

Now, starting with yesterday's blog, I want to show you a few more ways. First, you need to read yesterday's blog. You can do that by scrolling down below this blog.

Idea no. 1 for teaching your kids to make money: Make money

Idea No. 2 for teaching your kids to make money: Sell Lemonade

First of all, you need to know that selling lemonade is illegal without a license. However, I don't think you should worry about starting your kid on the path of crime. Most kids in my neighborhood commit several crimes everyday anyway, so you may as well teach them to profit from it. 

Secondly, you should know that traditional lemonade stands are money holes that will never make you rich. The cost of ingredients is simply too high. Howtomakeadollar has a better way

1. Get a ball that is yellow and looks kind of like a lemon. A tennis ball might work. Actual lemons are too expensive and will eat into your profits.

2. Tell your kid to write "LEMONADE 4 SALE" in big, uneven, kid letters on a big piece of paper. 

3. Get a pitcher of water and put it on a table beside the sign.

4. Put the tennis ball in the pitcher

5. Tell your kid to charge people $1 for a cup of lemonade.

6. Do not provide cups. People should use their own cup. This will save you the cost of those little plastic cups, which are prohibitively expensive. Despite the fact that plastic cups provide numerous environmental benefits,* we believe that their cost is the most important factor.

7. If people say that the lemonade is just water with a rubbery flavor, tell your kid to tell them to quit complaining and get off your yard.

8. Take profits from your child

*Pros and Cons of using plastic cups.

Pros:

- Plastic cups have been known to kill baby seals in the Arctic +10

- Plastic cups emit a powerful aroma when burned +1

- Smoke from burning plastic speeds ozone depletion +5

Total: +16

Cons: 

- Extremely expensive. Profit trumps all environmental concerns. +infinity

Total: +infinity

Infinity > 16

How to make $1 in 35 seconds

We have blogged previously about how to make $80 with a copy machine... the ONLY problem with that blog is that you need at least $1 to carry out the simple business plan.  For this idea, you don't need a REAL $1... just a PLAY $1.

Step by Step business plan:
1) Obtain PLAY $1 bill.  This should cost you significantly less than $1.  If it costs you more than $1 hopefully its signed by Pablo Picasso.

2) Locate on the PLAY $1 where it says PLAY

3) Cross out the word PLAY and replace it with the word REAL

4) Optional step: Color the money green (sometimes the PLAY money comes already green... in that case you have saved yourself at least 10 seconds off of the time it takes to execute this business plan)

5) Repeat steps 1 through 4

Simple and easy way to make one dollar!

Make money buying trash from hoarders

We recently blogged about how to make money selling trash to hoarders.  Children of hoarders did not like this idea.  They thought it was "Completely tasteless.  Not funny." and wanted us to "Get a life."

So our new idea is to make money by buying trash from hoarders and reselling it to people who have so much money they don't know what to do except buy trash.  Now to the people buying the trash... its not trash... its vintage rusty goodness.  This is a perfect opportunity to start your future as a recirculation specialist (aka flipping).

Step by Step Business plan
1) Find hoarder
2) Watch out for their children because they don't like you no matter if you buy or sell their parents trash
3) Hoarders are easy to spot... but for a "good" hoarder with junk (not just trash) look in between the pizza boxes and McDonald's Happy Meal toys for the rusty cars, bicycles, vintage signs and coins.
4) After picking through the trash tell them all they have is junk and they should pay you to take it off their hands before the government kicks them out of their house.
5) If they don't want to just give it to you, pay them at least $1 for their items
6) Put junk/trash/vintage rusty goodness on ebay and make a ridiculous amount of money.

Want some inspiration on taking hoarders junk and selling to rich people who need something to spend their extra money on?  Check out the new History Channel show American Pickers.

How to make money in Eagle River, Alaska

I'm sure most of you have been on the edge of your seats waiting anxiously to see if someone from Alaska visited our site.  For those who were not waiting anxiously or were not aware of Howtomakeadollar until recently... here is where we blogged about wanting someone from Alaska to visit our site.  And here is where we blogged about ways to make money in Alaska to lure people from Alaska.

I am proud to announce someone from Eagle River, Alaska has visited our site!  Way to go Eagle River.

Pictures are key to blogging

As a prize for the people of Eagle River, Alaska, here is a step by step business plan on how to make money in Eagle River.

1) Buy a dog that looks like you

2) Attend the Bear Paw Festival in July

3) Enter the "Dog and Owner look-a-like" contest

4) Look the most like your dog

5) Win the competition

Alternative plan for non Alaskans: Move to Eagle River, Alaska.  The government pays you to live there and you get free gasoline and salmon for life.

Picture and information from the best source of information in the world: wikepedia

Howtomakeadollar Welcomes its Official Fact Check Guy

You may have noticed that contributors to Howtomakeadollar occasionally use the tag "Unsubstantiated Claims" on certain blog entries. We use this tag because we sometimes make statements that seem unreliable, or, more accurately, we occasionally make statements that appear to be completely made up. This tag is not to say that our statements are untrue. It is simply used to point out that we have not backed up our statements using authoritative sources. That is why we are proud to report that we have added an Official* Fact Check Guy (OFCG) to our ranks.

*OFCG does not hold an official position at Howtomakeadollar. The word "Official" in his title is for diminatative purposes only, and does not imply, incite, implede, nor in any other way co-comingulate such office as may resimmitize payment, either directly or indirectly, of any kind.


This does not mean that we will no longer use the "unsubstantiated claims" tag. In fact, we will probably use it even more frequently. We have outsourced the responsibility of truth to the OFCG, and will no longer be held accountable for the relationship between statements made on our blog and any form of external reality.

Make Money By Going Missing

UPDATE:  Last week we wrote to inform our readers that one of our contributors had gone missing, and for various reasons, was presumed dead. We are somewhat relieved, and mildly pleased to report that he has now been found alive. Before continuing, you need to read the original missing person notice here.

He turned himself in for the $1 reward after reading about his disappearance on Howtomakeadollar. The $1 reward was offered specifically for information about his health and location. He confirmed his health by reporting that he was "not dead," but refused to give any specifics regarding his whereabouts, except for mumbling something incoherent about the border police in Namibia. Consequently, he was only able to obtain 50 cents of the reward, which is probably an accurate appraisal of his net worth.

We are kind of happy to welcome back his "unique" voice as a "contributor" to this blog.  However, the entire incident gave us yet another can't-miss money-making idea: Go missing, and when a reward is posted for information regarding your whereabouts, come forward yourself and claim the prize.  In order to have someone offer a reward when you go missing, you may need to commit a crime or have a loved one.  We have found that our readers generally fall into one of those two categories.  So chances are, you're good to go.  Missing, that is.

Related Business Ideas:  Have a bounty taken out for your head.  Then deliver your head.  You do still have it, don't you?  Or conversely, find someone else who goes missing and offers to give you $5000 if you find them.

Other related Business Idea for People who do not have Loved Ones, and are not suspected of Crimes:
1. Find a person who probably has loved ones
2. Convince the person to go for a ride in your car. You may need to use coercive techniques such as offering candy or a hot stock investment tip. Very few people can resist a good stock investment idea from a stranger. It is ideal if you can get them into your trunk, but this is not necessarily necessary.
3. Once they get in the car, drive away quickly. Make sure to have your tires squeal.
4. Soon there will be a reward offered for either the person in your car, or yourself, possibly both of you
5. Turn yourself in to the person offering the reward, along with the person in your car

Personally, I think this is different from kidnapping. Kidnappers are mean, scary, and dangerous. You are just a nice guy looking for some easy cash. HUGE difference.

Make Money by Selling Priceless Artwork Part 3

Chances are, if you have an Internet connection and are literate, that you've heard about our wildly popular blog posts about making money with art. If by some chance you have not read these wonderful masterpieces of wonder and wonderment, you can do so here. However, you may as well keep reading this post for now, since you are here.

Some people have very poor taste in art, and they may not appreciate your masterpiece. In fact, this is a good way to tell if you are a truly talented artist. Truly talented artists are never appreciated in their own lifetimes. Thats why Vincent Van Gogh and Claude Monet and Rembrandt* were so poor. No one knew they were any good until they died. So if people don't like your art, that means you're a very talented artist. The more they hate it, the better you should feel about yourself. 

*Does anyone know Rembrandt's first name? I think it was Marv, but I could be wrong.

One obvious way to get people to pay massive amounts of money for your art would be to die. However, dying is kind of permanent, and you may regret it later, like a bad tattoo.  Faking your death could be a good option, but I've tried it a few times, and something always seems to go wrong. Please email me if you have ever faked your own death and then went on to a successful career as an artist. I would really like some pointers. I promise I won't tell anyone you are alive.

The best way to make money from art during your own lifetime is to paint pictures and sign them "Pablo Picasso." People spend millions on paintings by Picasso, and yours would be no different.

Dude descending a staircase


THIS PRICELESS ARTWORK CAN BE YOURS FOR $1
(plus $.44 for shipping... sorry the artwork may come folded in an envelope*)
*a standard iron should take the creases right out