Show your hate!

A few weeks ago we started offering a service called "Show your love." It has been massively successful, and we have been proud to provide fawning poems, hiakus, and love letters to people's wives on their behalf. If you have a loved one, "Show your love" is an excellent service to use. I would like to point out that all the  people who have used this service have been men. I think that at the very least, their wives owe them a "show your love" post as well. You are married to a good man. Remember the pride you felt when you saw that your husband had paid a dollar to get some love poetry written for you? Do you want to be a bad wife who can't even fork over one dollar for your man? Shameful.

We've also offered to write obituaries for people for a dollar, but this has not gone over well, and the one obituary we did write turned out to be premature, because the guy was not actually dead.

You can read our "Show your love" blogs here, and the obituary here

Continuing the theme, we are now offering a "Show your hate" service, or, if "hate" is too strong a word, you can use "show your disgust."

Basically, for one dollar, we will write a ranting tirade against anyone or anything you name. Frequently hated people include politicians, the cast of "Friends," and that Burger King guy. Other things that lots of people hate are kittens, panda bears and seals.

So lets just say that you hate that Burger King Guy. All you have to do is email us, promise to send us $1, and tell us what day you would like us to write bad things about him. You can even specify certain aspects about him that you hate the most. In turn, we will write a rant against that person, place, or thing. Additionally, we will post nasty comments about them on facebook and twitter.

If I had a choice of the top three people to hit in the face with a jackhammer they would be the Burger King guy, the Burger King guy's mom, and the doctor who delivered him safely into this world. He scares children, wears cheap hats, and his beard is fake. Burger King food tastes like roofing shingles mixed with SARS.